(Kind Of) Ever After

Bridges of Names

**Not Edited (Please ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes. ;A;)**

Soulmate AU: First Name Tattoo (Your soulmate's first name is tattooed on your wrist at age 18. Each person in history can only use the name once, to make finding their soulmate easier. Once the name is taken, no other child in history can have it. For example, if someone was named Sarah, the name will be registered in a database and no other person in history can be named Sarah. However, Sarah Jr. or Sarah III would be available. )

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"Jack the five-hundred-sixty-seventh."

"No."

"Leon the three hundred-ninetieth."

"No!"

"Quasimoto the seventienth."

"Sixteen people decided to name their child Quasimoto?"

"Says you. Your name is 'MapleSugar'.'"

"And you are going to get a divorce soon if you don't shut up and find a goddamn name for our baby," MapleSugar hissed, cradling the baby to her chest while her husband typed random names into the name-claiming database.

"What about 'butt'? I doubt anyone named their children 'butt'," He suggested. "I mean. We'd be those parents but my parents named me Waffle and I turned out okay."

"Oh, you'd be surprised what parents have resorted to," Their nurse said, shooting them both a look. "I had one couple name their child 'this fucking hospital bed'."

"They named the child 'hospital bed'?"

"No. That was already taken. Their baby's official name is, literally, 'ThisFuckingHospitalBed Johnson."

"Huh," MapleSugar trailed off, arching an eyebrow and looking at her baby boy. "What do you say, baby? Want to be named after a hospital bed too?"

"We are not naming our baby after a hospital bed. It's not original. Someone else has already come up with it." Waffle muttered. "Our baby boy is going to be special."

"How about we just keyboard smash and take whatever name comes up?" MapleSugar huffed. "Seriously."

"Fine," Waffle muttered, smashing the keyboard and clicking 'check for availability'.

widlJfown

-Available-

"WE GOT ONE!" She screamed, grabbing his arm with her free hand. "WE GOT A FUCKING NAME THAT'S NOT TAKEN! HURRY, HURRY, CLICK CLAIM! CLICK THE CLAIM BUTTON!"

"...How would you even pronounce that?!" Waffle asked, shooting her a disbelieving look.

"WHO CARES?! ITS NOT TAKEN! HURRY, SUBMIT IT TO THE OFFICIAL NAME ADMINISTRATION OFFICE BEFORE SOMEONE TAKES IT."

"I'm pretty sure no one is going to-"

"DO IT YOU LITTLE SHIT," She hissed, her eyes darkening as she gripped his arms in a death grip.

"Why can't we name him Bob the 284th?" Waffle protested weakly.

"I WONT CALL MY CHILD 'BOB THE 284th'! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!"

"Oh, and naming the child w-i-d-capital l- capital J-f-o-w-n- ISNT RIDICULOUS?!?!"

"I WILL LOVE w-i-d-capital l- capital J-f-o-w-n WITH ALL MY HEART. ALSO, I JUST PUSHED A BABY OUT OF MY VAGINA, I CAN NAME HIM WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT."

"Better listen to her if I were you," The nurse hummed, leaving the room where the couple was still fiercely debating the name.

"BOB THE 284TH!"

"YOU CAN NAME A CHILD BOB THE 284TH ONCE YOU CARRY HIM IN YOUR STOMACH FOR NINE FUCKING MONTHS AND PUSH HIM OUT OF YOUR BODY AFTER TWO HOURS OF LABOR. Until then, he's going to be named whatever I choose to name him."

"But… But… Bob the 284th…"

~~~~~

Hehehehe my sisters and I were talking about how life would be like if only one person in history could have a name and this came out of it :P What'd you think of it? Vote, Comment, and thank you so much for reading~! :D