Alone

C H A P T E R 12

"~you taught a lesson to me that I had to learn, and I'm so sorry cause I let out bridges burn"
-YNW Melly:Suicidal

"Goshh I have a headache" I say while groaning in bed. It's Saturday today which means I get to stay in bed the whole time.

I cried for three night straight since I told Ryder that we can no longer be best friends. The next day he told Mr Copper that he wants to switch partners and I asked to go to the toilets and then cried.

I got paired up with Julia, one of the girls that seems to be stuck on the EMO stage. Her hair was originally dirty blonde and long but in 10th grade, she cut her hair short and dyed it purple and black.

It looks cute on her though, she has two piercings on her nose and her brow. I don't even want to imagine the pain of doing that. She also has slieve tattoos. She's really pretty though but I just feel like she was more pretty with her natural look.

Everything she wears is either black or black. Literally no other colour. You'd swear her soul is also black.

When we went to lunch, he showed up and went to sit at another table. Obviously Jess noticed the tension and everything, she confronted me which resulted in me crying.

I'm a crybaby. So what? Deal with it.

I've been avoiding Sky by all means which means I eat in my room. I pract live in my room right now. I only go out to get food. I haven't seen Brian since that day.

Everything hurts. My body ache, my heart is crying out loud and I just want to rip my skin off. Why does it have to hurts like this?

I get out of bed and do my morning routine then put on my mom's shirt that reaches on my mid thigh and a sweatpants. Yepp.. I put on the 'do nothing besides overthink and eat' uniform.

I go to my venity and sigh when I look at my hair. It looks like a birds nest or i just got out of a fight with cat.. And the cat won. I'm a black girl so I don't wash my hair everyday. Not that it's a tradition or anything, I'm just used to it cause I'm lazy.

I sigh and comb it. I sometimes wish I could just cut is super short and just don't stress about it. I put it in a bun and decides to go get something to eat.

When I reach the kitchen, I spot Sky leaning against the island eating cereal. I'm hungry and I also don't want interact with her. Alright I can do this. It's easy. Take a bowl, pour in cereal and milk, add suger, reach out out for a spoon then leave. See easy.

And yes i add suger in my cereal. Kill me if you want.

I breath in. "I can do this. Maybe she won't see me" i talk to myself then walk to prepare my cereal. Once I'm done and feel relieved as I walk out of the kitchen unnoticed.

"you're gonna have to talk to me sooner or later" she says and I groan. "yhea I was hoping for later" I say turning to face her. She looks at me with a smirk and I groan.

"Look baby sis.. I don't regret it.. Not my fault you don't take care of his needs" she says walking past me with a smirk and at that moment I lost my upitite

Maybe she's right. It's my fault he cheats on me. I'm the one causing myself the pain. She's right.

I sit on the fall and starts to cry. Everything is my fault. What kind of girlfriend am I that doesn't have sex with her boyfriend? I'm the cause behind my pain.

After crying for what felt like forever, my bum started to feel numb so I picked myself up and went to my room. Maybe if I had sex with him, he'll stop cheating. Right?