ᴋᴘᴏᴘ ᴏɴᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 || 𝕃𝕚𝕡𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕝 🕊🦉

She looked at them for the last time. Her eyes were glossy. She felt so stupid. She was angry. Angry at herself and her stupid hope. Hope was such a silly thing to believe in. It made you feel magical, almost euphoric. You thought and believed a lot of things. It made you happier and you thought that the world was happier. That you should give it a chance and go for it. Try, live your life to the fullest, be happy and have... hope. That things were going to get better. That things might go your way.

That was such a lie. Now she knew. She knew all too well. A lie. How could this be true? How could things go her way? How could she be so stupid and believe in hope? Hope!? Really? Was she that desperate? Yes, fuck yes she was! For believing in hope. For believing in them. That they could be better people than what they were. Oh, she was so wrong to that. She knew them too well. How could they change and be better people in just a short period of time? No, they couldn't. People don't change. They can't.

She felt so angry. Not only at herself, not only at hope, but at them as well. But most of all, she was done. Done with them. She had yelled at them, told them the truth, tried to make them understand, heard their opinion and now she was done. There was nothing else there left for her. All she needed to do was... leave.

She closed her eyes. Her fists were clenched tightly, her nails leaving marks to her skin, probably, from how much force she used. She took in a small, brief and shaky breath and opened her eyes. The tears that were seconds ago about to roll down her cheeks were gone. She had suppressed them, pushed them deep down. No. She wasn't going to satisfy them and show them her weak side. Not this time. She was going to leave from that house, that used to be hers as well, and she was going to leave proudly. She was going to show them that she was proud. Because she was. She was indeed proud. Proud of herself, of how many things she had managed to do by herself, of how strong she was.

She turned around, grabbed her school backpack that she had tossed away moments ago and left the house. She closed the door forcefully behind her.

She needed to hear that. The sound of the door closing. Because it was never going to open again. It was over. Officially. She was never going to see them again. And she was relieved. She should be at least.

But why wasn't she?

After all this time, after all her tries to make them see, after all the patience that she had with them, after all her frustrations, after all the crying alone in her bedroom, why didn't she feel relieved?

Because she hoped. She used to at least. Till that fight seconds ago. She hoped that things could get better, that they would accept her, that she wasn't going to go through all that pain, that she wasn't going to leave, that she wasn't going to say goodbye to them or to her house, or to her room and stuff.

Honestly, she could go pick them up later, but she felt so drained and in so much pain to go back there again and gather her stuff. She could send a friend but that wasn't on her mind at that moment. She didn't care for her stuff anyway. Not at that moment. At that moment all that mattered was her pain.

She started running, because she felt like running. Running away from the pain. From her problems, from the hurtful, rough, tough, reality. And soon, tears, the tears that she had previously tried to push away, rolled down her face. She kept running and crying. She wasn't sure where she was going and she didn't care honestly.

It was raining, which made her feel even worse. But at least, the rain drops were mixed with her tears so it wasn't easy to tell that she was crying.

After some time she got tired. She felt her throat dry and burning, her lungs were about to explode, her legs felt like jelly. She didn't have much stamina and running wasn't for sure her thing. Even though she had a fit body and she liked exercising, she still wasn't that good at it. No, these were hobbies for Hyunjin not her.