all but you || h.s. || a.u.

q u a t r e

Harry Styles

I couldn't explain the reason I went back. When she poured that steamy, boiling coffee on my head, a light switch clicked on inside (not being sarcastic here but, I do have a habit). My friends gave a dirty look like I had done something I shouldn't have, and it was true. My insulting words could of triggered something that could never be undone. And then I thought, go apologize, you idiot.

Of course, normally, I won't do such an act. Never before have I ever taken back words that I've said to a girl. Especially one that was my age and new. Unless she was Maureen, that's a different story.

Unfortunately, the coffee that resided on my body burned a little too much. After everyone (except Tyler) departed from the shop, I came to realization that this coffee might just burn my body.

Tyler, on the other hand, remained seated only reacting to the events that just unfolded. He slid to the side of his seat before muttering a simple, "Dude," which didn't help much.

"I'm going," I grabbed the collar of my jacket walking towards the door, not looking back at anything. Tyler was still startled by my exit, and only muttered, “Text me later,” before the door closed while the cold air hit against my face swiftly.

The coffee then soaked my shirt, and the brim of my boxers. The discomfort began to bother me, and make my skin irritated more than the burning was doing. As I took each footstep, snow gathering under each foot, my mind tried to create a reasonable apology for Nixie. I thought about my words–though I didn’t completely mean it; I was just angry—and the word ‘apology’ didn’t quite register in my range of vocabulary. I wasn’t the kind to apologize unless what I said was completely and rightfully outrageous (which didn’t happen often. It was an absurd rarity), but apparently, I hurt Nixie.

After I arrived at my empty house, I switched from the liquid drenched clothes into new dry clothes in order to go by her house. However, I didn’t have her address and had no idea how to get it without stalking around the neighborhood wandering out. I gripped the door knob once more, heading into the freezing air only to catch Nixie, Zayn and Louis walking into a nearby building for flats. Her face appeared very straightforward with a tad bit of hurt emotions. What I said… was it really that wrong?

She pushed the door open with Louis, and Zayn trailing behind her like a train of baby puppies searching for a midnight treat. My feet moved up closer to them, but something stopped them.  What would I say? I don’t know exactly how to say hi, or even apologize to her without taking it back a few minutes later.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say those things. So, get over it. I stopped in my steps and shook my head. That’s rude…She really isn’t going to forgive me.

“Alright, Nixie, I’m sorry, okay?” That’s just to plain…

“This is just stupid,” I argued, pushing the stray hairs out of my face and in between my fingers with a long sigh. This was getting stressful. An apology is taking up more time that I had hoped for. It’s just an apology, so why can’t I do it? I strolled down to the door that they slipped into before I began to ponder on the situation outside the door. My knuckles clashed with the door, motioning back and forth as I waited for the door to be answered. I stood nervously, stuffing my cold, brittle hands into my pockets quickly to gain some warmth.

Next thing you know, I was watching (a bit weird, I know) Nixie sleep on the chair across from me, her hands buried in the sleeves of her oversized jumper. For a second, I thought she looked pretty cute cuddled up like that, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. My heart was filled with someone else (right?).