And I...: A MarkiplierxReader ✔

Chapter 24: Gimme A Sign*

*Time Lapse- 3 Weeks Later*

Your POV

"You really love him, don't you?"
I quietly sobbed into my pillow, my mother sitting on the edge of my bed, gently rubbing my back.
A simple 'yes' couldn't even begin to describe it. "You know how the moon only shines because it's reflecting the sun. That's him to me, I only shine because he's there" I feel so foolish. I didn't want to get involved with a guy, and now what, I've cried myself to sleep every night, asking God 'why?!'

"Well, I don't know much about the moon and sun, but I do know the perfect remedy to a broken heart. Why don't you get yourself dressed and I'll take you for some frozen yogurt before they close."
I couldn't believe her! She thinks that will fix everything?! She thinks that's gonna get me through the sleepless nights, the pounding in my head and the pain in my chest! "Just leave me alone." I rolled over and clutched onto another pillow.

I couldn't help but try and picture that I was hugging Mark. Although I tried my best it wasn't the same. 'What the fuck is wrong with me!? He cheated on me, and I still want to be with him. I know I deserve better, but I can't just let this go. Everything reminds me of him...' There was a knock on the door, I didn't even bother to use what little energy I had to tell mom to come in; so she let herself in. I laid there wallowing in self pity. 

"I know you want to be by yourself right now, but this came in the mail earlier. I'll just leave it on you dresser for you." I didn't bother to reply, 'I don't care that 'THIS' came in the mail. The only thing I want right now is something I can't have!' I began to sob uncontrollably. Sniffles and hyperventilating soon followed. "He said he loved me mom! Why would he do this to me?!" 

She stopped in her tracks, and came back to my bedside to hold and console me. "Everyone in your life is either a blessing or a lesson. Your father taught me that, I know know he told you the same. Maybe this boy was a lesson learned." She got up and took the piece of mail from off my dresser and handed it to me "maybe this is your blessing." I whipped my tears with the sleeve of my shirt and realized what this was. "It's from Juilliard." I clutched the letter in my hand, I didn't know what to expect. I hesitantly opened the letter.

"Dear, (YN);

Congratulations! It gives me tremendous pleasure to inform you, you have been granted admission...."

I didn't need to know what the rest of it said, I didn't care. 'Is this a dream?'
Mom, spread her arms wide for a congratulatory hug. "I'm not going." I crumbled the letter, and tossed it into my trash can. "I have no reason to Mom. The only reason I got in was because I was singing a song that meant something to me. I was singing about him. There's no way I can go to that school and they can get the same performance out of me."

The smile on my mothers face quickly faded, and shame replaced her smile. "Your father would probably smack you for talking so stupid. This has been your dream since 5th grade, and you've worked so damn hard for it. I can't believe you're saying you're not going because of some idiot, who you're too good for anyway."

That was the last thing I remember her saying before she left the room. I oned out midway through her rant. 'She just doesn't understand. How can I go? My heart has always been in music, but now... it lays with him. They only accept the best of the best, and I was my best... because of Mark.'

For the first time in a long time, I kneeled down at my bedside, folded my hands together and I prayed. I prayed for a sign. "What should I do? Dad...? God...? Please, someone give me a sign as to what I should do! I'm so lost, and really confused. I need some guidance."
End POV

Marks POV

"Hello everyone, my name is Markiplier. Thank you for taking the time out of your evening to attend this last minute live stream. I'm gonna make this fairly short, so I'm sorry if you were expecting a game play or something. I just wanted to take the time to really thank you guys so much for deciding I was worth your time, and getting me to where I am today. It truly means so much to me, it's been an incredible journey. However, in light of recent events I've decided it's time to call it a wrap.
I no longer have the motivation I need to continue."

The chat went insane, I was disappointing so many people. I was instantaneously changing so many lives, that I've been saving. But who's gonna save me?

"I owe you guys an explanation, but I can't right now. I promise, I will upload a goodbye video in the near future with an explanation."

Tears began to flow down my cheeks, as I said farewell to the now, second love of my life.

"Once again, thank you for all your love and support. You are all truly my hero, but tonight you guys can't save me. I'm nothing without her."

I waved my final goodbye to the camera, and ended the broadcast.
Something I've said I'll do for as long as I can just came to an abrupt end. Slowly I begin to feel as if I have the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. 'She's everything I never knew I needed.'

Seconds after ending the stream, my phone was ringing. It was Arin. 'What does he want?' "Dude, you better not do anything stupid. What the fuck was that about...?" --- "How did yo...?' Arin then explained "I follow you on twitch. I get email notifications when you start streaming. I got an email and had nothing better to do with my time. Now talk to me." 

Although I wasn't much for talking on the phone, I sat there, and vented. I told Arin everything, and surprisingly he sat there silently, just listening allowing me to vent to him. "If you want my honest opinion, I think you should go after her. She needs to know what happened. For all you know, it's ripping you both apart."

Of course the thought of chasing after her occurred to me, but I wouldn't even know where to begin or how to go about it. "Let me talk to her cousin. I'll explain everything, and see if she'd be willing to help us out. I'll give her a call tomorrow." I couldn't understand the use in chasing after her. I'd go to Washington, and then what? Get the door slammed in my face? The letter clearly stated it, she wants nothing to do with me.
End POV

Your POV

*Dream*
I was standing on a stage. I had a piano at my fingertips, and a spotlight was shining down on me.
I opened my mouth to sing, but nothing was coming out. I look out into the crowd to notice, Mark sitting the crowd. In fact, Mark was every single person in the crowd. Seeing his face only made me more upset, so I tried to run off stage, only to be stopped by Dad. He never spoke a word, but he took my hand, and placed it on my chest, above my heart, and motioned his head to go back to the stage.
*End Dream*

I awoke, distort and confused. This wouldn't have been the first time I ever had a dream of Dad since he passed away. This was just the first time I ever woke up from one where it felt as if I could still feel his touch on my skin. 'What does it mean? I'm clearly on a stage, but I can't preform... and although there are hundreds of bodies in the crowd, every single one of them was Mark? I don't understand...'