behind the smile [tubbo au]

almost there

T.W : S U I C I D A L   T H O U G H T S,  S H

A N D  S U I C I D E

Tubbo finally got up from the staircase and carefully went up them.

Every step felt like another era of pain. Every step brought him further into agony. Every. Single. Step.

After what felt like forever he hit the top of the staircase and made his way to the bathroom.

He stood in the middle of the bathroom and looked at the reflection in the mirror.

'God im so fat and ugly'
'Maybe I should just end it'
'It would be better for everyone'
'Nobody would miss me'

He looked over at the razor blade that l laid lifelessly on the sink. He imagined what he would look like lifeless.

He picked it up wich made the voices louder and more needy.

'Yes'
'You need this'
'This is punishment'
'Do it'
'DO. IT.'

He looked at his bruised wrist. He slowly picked up the blade and made one cut but his body. He knew he shouldnt do this but his body and thoughts screamed for more.

Slowly one became two. Two became three. The became five. Five became ten. And soon enough he had covered his whole wrists.

Tubbo didn't bother to wrap them up in bandages and he didn't care to put on a long sleeved shirt. He just put on one of schlatts alcohol stained and scented sweaters and begged no cops would be around.

He knew that the hoodie would cover up all his scars and his neck but he was screwed if anyone asked about it.

Tubbo jumped out the bathroom window and left the house. Headed toward the bridge of their town.

It just happened to be that wilbur was walking around town with his best friend tommy. They were talking about random things and laughing at each other.

When they walked by the bridge it was almost sunset.

"Could we watch the sunset on the bridge like I always did when I was younger?" Tommy asked. "It is pretty innit?"

He looked up at wilbur with pleading eyes to force him into Complying. "Finnee" he sighed. "Only because we have to sit though."

But when they reached the bridge expecting to have a nice sit, they  saw the most horrifying sight they had ever seen.

Tubbo was standing at the edge of the bridge crying. He had bleeding cuts all over his wrist that was shown from his rolled up sleeve. He had a cut in his cheek that seemed to be there for a while and he did not look like he was in a good mental state.

Both of the boys instantly ran over. "TUBBO!?" wilbur screamed.

Tubbo looked over at him with fear and sadness in his eyes. His expression looked completely broken.

Until he smiled at them.

"T-tubbo...?" Tommy said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Tubbo started talking. "Im sorry." He sobbed. "I'm sorry to my parents who I couldn't save. I'm sorry to shclatt for not being worth it. I'm sorry to all of my friends for being a part of their lives." Tubbo thought for a moment. "And I'm sorry to my brother for never getting to say I love you back."

And then he fell.

"NOOO!!" Tommy yelled and then ran over and kneeled next to the bridge. "No. Nonono!" He looked down at the flowing water "w-we can s-still save h-him" he claimed.

Wilbur called an ambulance and soon enough they arrived To get the lifeless boy.