You are all I've got, Damien.

Chapter 8: First Date

It was a middle of the night, I got woken up by noises outside. Every Friday night my neighbour use to have parties until early mornings. Usually, that wouldn't bother me, but that night something else brought me out from my sleep. Like for the last few nights Damien's arm was around me, he held my hand every night, he wouldn't fall asleep if I wasn't next to him and as soon as I moved he would wake up and check if I'm around only then he could go back to sleep. But that night was different, what really woke me up was his hand squashing mine very hard I could feel my fingers getting numb, his hands were shaking, heart pounding in his chest right next to my ear, his breath was fast and deep, his chest and face were wet from sweat.

I carefully released my hand from his, to don't wake him up suddenly. Moved myself closer to him and gently placed my hand on his cheek, but before my hand reached his face, he jumped up with the scream, he was terrified.

'Maya?!' he said with a terrified voice, desperately waving his arms looking for me.

'Shhh... I'm here' I sat up next to him rubbing his shoulder. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I squeezed him tight, making sure he knows I'm there with him. His heart still beating fast 'It was just a nightmare... It's OK' I said, rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. His muscles were so tense, and his embrace was strong, a little bit too strong. I placed a small kiss on his neck, pulling his head closer to me, he buried it in my hair, trying to calm his breath. I knew that asking him what happened is the worse that I could do. We sat in silence on the bed for a good few minutes.

'I am sorry baby' he whispered with his face still buried in my hair, his voice was breaking.

'It's OK... just relax' I said gently scratching the back of his neck 'just try to relax.'

I looked at the clock it was three in the morning, I could hear loud music from the house next door. I had so many thought in my head, I knew it is going to be hard for him, after everything he went through, all the horror he saw in prison. Being alone for seven years, with nobody to properly talk to, nobody who could show him at least a bit of warmth and love. Just left by himself after losing his father, everyday thinking about death.

I remembered our afternoon in town and recalled all the moments, how uncomfortable he felt in the shopping mall, holding my hand all the time, scanning everything and everyone, avoiding any eye contact with everyone who wasn't me.

Only after going through all these moments, I understood how stressful that must've been for him, how much he was trying to hide it, for me to feel good. I started to feel horrible, how did I let that happened? I should've known. We should've taken it slow, one place at the time.

A few minutes later, he slowly let go from the strong embrace, I cupped his face rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs ' Damien, I am here for you. No matter how hard it will be, you have me. You can talk to me, I won't judge you ... I can only imagine how hard it is for you ... but we will get through this, I promise ' I said, his expression softened.

'You are a real angel, baby. I would die if I've ever lost you' he said softly resting his forehead on mine 'Yesterday was a bit stressful, I didn't realise until we walked into the mall. It was so crowded ... I ... I felt like everyone was looking at me like everyone knew my past like everyone knew I just came out of prison... like there were all judging me. I know it's not true, but still...' he said, looking away.

'Honey, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have taken you there so soon. It was very selfish of me ... I should've asked you first.'

'Maya, stop blaming yourself again. Is not your fault... I shouldn't be such a coward.'

'Damien, you are not a coward. You just came out of prison, and you are trying to adapt back to everyday life. It takes courage to take that step, you've been through hell and yet here you are. With me, being the most precious and loving man I ever knew. You just need a little help to get back on track... and for that you have me... we will take it slow.'