Today, I Feel: (Yeonjun X Reader)

Page 62

Yesterday was a whirlwind of chaos.

Taehyun came to the practice room early to see me still practicing. I was lucky that he thought I had come in early that morning to practice. We practiced together. He knit picked me, I knit picked him.

It felt like exactly what I needed. Other than sleep. I desperately needed sleep. When the rest of the group came, we practiced more.

Then, before I knew it, our dance performance came. I could see all my friends. Soobin, Beomgyu, HueningKai (who had been meticulously hidden), and (Y/N) standing near the front of the fairly small audience.

When she saw me, she smiled and waved happily.

The performance was perfect. Just like I wanted it to be. Every move executed well.

But when it ended, I was exhausted.

My friends greeted me, telling me how cool I looked. I accepted their compliments with open arms. When they left, I met with (Y/N). It was her turn to fulfill her part of the deal.

So with my eyes heavy as cinder blocks and my limbs numb, we walked around a nearby empty part and she pulled out an old sheet of paper. She took a deep breath and began to read.

"Death is an inconvenience.

I enjoyed my time with you.

Every moment was a precious gift.

You began to feel 'out of it'.

You took Tylenol and Advil to help but you grew more and more tired.

As someone who enjoyed you, this was inconvenient.

The 'out of it' feeling began to grow

It went from Tylenol and Advil to hospital visits and prescriptions.

Your poor mother found this inconvenient.

You started to be in constant pain despite the pills.

Those visits and prescriptions turned into stays and surgeries.

Your father took time off work to be with you, but he found this very inconvenient.

It was when we all heard that you weren't going to make it

That everything didn't seem so inconvenient.

And when we all stood upon your grave

We wished that we didn't see you as inconvenient."

It was very deep, yet also very surface level.

"I wrote it a while ago," she told me.

"What is it about?" I asked her.

"A close friend of mine," she responded.

"Did they..." I asked without really asking.

"Yep. And it felt like an inconvenience. And I wish it didn't," she told me.

"We all feel things sometimes that can be a bit selfish," I told her.

"But labelling a death and sickness as an inconvenience? It felt wrong," she told me.

"You're allowed to feel bad things. Sometimes feeling bad things can be an outlet or a coping mechanism. As long as you don't let those things hurt anyone else," I told her.

"Thanks for that," she smiled.

And then, we went back to our apartments. I invited her in for coffee. Within a few minutes, I was asleep.

I woke up this morning to a note on my coffee table.

'You danced well last night. You should look into becoming a professional dancer'

Today, I feel: confident and helpful