Do This, Misa

"Rem... please stop." I desperately sobbed.

"Misa-san, I do not think it's love if you're always giving and not receiving. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't make you do all these things. Light is just using-"

"I said stop! Please!" I cut her off. I've always known that he doesn't really love me. It's just too painful to hear all those words. The death note, which what Light is obsessed with, has taken over him completely. I can't do anything about it since I know he doesn't care about whatever I say. Or at least he pretends to.

Having the shinigami eyes was what I was thankful for. Light gave me attention because of what I have. The power that I have. He said he loves me, that he would take care of me, and that he would marry me. But I realized I have been fed with lies. His obsession with being a god has ruined my life... completely. He... ruined my life.

As much as I love him, thinking about those days, when I was such a happy girl with so many dreams, brings so much pain in my heart. I am so sorry. I am so sorry to myself. I'm so sorry, Misa. I have been selfless.

I pulled the shower and let the water run through me. "I'm... so... sorry..." My voice cracked. I'm so desperate. I'm thinking about... breaking up with him. I should, right? But I know Light. He'll surely kill me. That thought made me cry more.

I was still standing, staring at the wall in front of me, when the sound of the shower curtain being held startled me.

"Misa?" Light's tired voice made me flinch. I faced him and smiled.

"Light..."

"Let me shower with you." He pulled my waist. Our bodies are stuck together while the water ran through us. I know why he's doing this. I've been acting strange. He doesn't want me to doubt him. But I've always known.

After our shower, I wore my clothes and immediately went to bed silently. I can hear him talking to someone on his phone so I made myself calm down. My hands are trembling... but I need to do this. Scary, but I need to.

I called his name as he entered the room.

"Yeah?" He looked at me curiously. He must've been weirded out by my actions.

"C-can we talk?" I asked, hiding my trembling hands. He only looked at me.

"I... uhm... c-can... uh, sorry. I w-want to break up with you." There. I said it. Fuck. I couldn't look at him. He must be planning my death now. Tears rolled down on my cheeks and I quickly wiped it, but I kept on crying.

"Please... please, don't kill me. Please let me live for myself. I will never tell anyone about you or the notebook. I-it's just that... I realized... I mean... You don't know this b-but... I've always known that you never had feelings for me. I just love you so much that I let myself believe in whatever you say." I looked at his eyes and felt a sharp pain in my heart. I see no emotions in his eyes. I could never read him. I could never read Light Yagami.

"Light, I thought about the Misa 2 years ago. She was so full of light. She had so many dreams back then. I want to be her again. Please, I really want my old life back. I love you. So much. But I don't think you're able to give me what I want. It was okay for me to receive anything you gave me, but now, I don't think it's right. I should respect myself, Light. I can't make you love me back so I might as well distance myself from things that hurt me." I desperately said. He gazed away for a few minutes, and focused his eyes back on me.

"Misa, if that's what you want..." My eyes widened.

"If that's what you want to do, do it. Let's break up. I'm so sorry." He said. I couldn't move. I don't know if he's being genuine or not. What if he's just saying this?

"Misa, it's okay. I'm sorry. If you're worried about me killing you, I won't. I'm sorry for making you feel that way." Light assured me. I felt a bit safe because of the tone of his voice but the doubt is still there.

I stayed silent for a few seconds. I looked up at him and saw that he's still watching me. His eyes... full of concern. What is this? Why is he looking at me like that? Light, what's your fucking deal?

"I-I'll hand my death note to you... so that you won't doubt me too." I said.

He smiled at me.

-

Author's note: Hello. Thank you for reading this. I wrote this in the middle of the night because it just bothered me that no one gave Misa justice. She's one of my favorite characters in Death Note and she just deserves more. Once again, thank you!