Death is Warm; Han Jisung Centric

Free From Death?

(A/N)~ So sorry for being 3 1/2 weeks late!! I will try to be more consistent, but I cannot promise anything. I love every single one of you who read this story! I really appreciate the comments and love I'm receiving!! Thank you all so much! <3

          When Jisung woke up from his slumber for sure, he was pressed tightly into Felix's chest. There was a rhythmic hand pulling through his hair gently. The bed was cold on his right side, but he was tucked in carefully. He knew Felix was awake, but he didn't want to face the harsh reality that he had put himself in. He knew it wasn't really his fault for breaking down, but he couldn't help but want to blame himself. The newest manager, manager-nim is what he wanted Jisung to call him, was really on to him about not "keeping up" with the others. Han knew he was beautiful, knew he was good at singing, rapping, dancing, being loud. Someone telling Han that he needed to do better never bothered him. But that was always Han, wasn't it? Jisung wasn't by any means 'Han'. Jisung is quite the opposite. Manager-nim didn't seem to understand that like their main Manager Hyung did. Jisung was quiet, introverted. Jisung needed to be reminded every once in a while that, yes, he was enough. That he was worth it. Manager Hyungie understood just like his members did. He didn't have to pretend around them all the time. But really, he wasn't really faking everything. He usually got really excited while being associated with Stays. They made him so happy, so no, that wasn't an "act". It just got really hard when cameras are shoved in your face 24/7 and you were expected to be happy and funny because none of the fans should worry.

          It was just so tiring.

         "You awake, Hannie?" Felix murmured softly, voice sending gentle rumbles through Felix's chest to Jisungs. "I can hear you thinking, stop that," He added.

        Jisung ignored the second part, "Hi, Yongbokkie, yeah, I'm awake." He was slightly sarcastic. Felix snorted.

         "I guess I deserved that," Felix pulled Jisung over his body. "Much better," His eyes closed. Jisung blushed and somewhat straddled Felix, tucking his head in Felix's shoulder. He laid a soft kiss there, not looking to see Felix' reaction. If only he did though. Felix blushed, and smiled happily. "What a great start to the day," he thought.

          'Today is going to be a long day,' Jisung sighed.

          "So you joined us now, huh?" Chan hummed, trying to keep the atmosphere warm and light. They were looking at Jisung, but they couldn't help it. They knew how anxious he could get even if it were just their eyes on him, but they just were so worried. It was hard to not stare for the hell of it, though. He looked so beautiful that morning. His fluffy hair was ruffled from where Felix's hands ran through it. He had small scratches on his pretty cheeks from his blunt nails, and his lips were dry and scabby, and, God, his eyes. Oh, his eyes were in the worst condition that they had ever seen him in, but he looked stunning. He seemed brighter than he had been in the past few months. Like a very heavy weight that had been slowly crushing him for ever, and somehow, someone or something had suddenly lifted it so helpfully. He was practically glowing. He could have put a model out of their job by the way he looked. The artificial, warm light drowned him in its beauty.

          Jisung was ever so slightly giggling, Felix doing a wonder on his nerves. Felix was almost attached to his side, and Seungmin quickly moved to the seat across the table so Felix and Jisung could sit together. Even God knows how whiny Felix would get if he didn't sit by Jisung. Jisung was wearing a knitted white sweater that was too big on him, it was probably Minho's. He was wearing Changbin's fluffy sweatpants, which shouldn't fit him since they hardly fit on Changbin, but they surprisingly did. His snatched waist would be the one to thank for that.

           Felix and Jisung sat down and Felix scooched his chair closest to Jisung's. They were so close their hips touched and their chairs clashed. Jisung laughed, finding Felix's need for closeness adorable. Jisung petted his head, taking in Felix's beauty. They all looked good at all times, but Felix seemed really relaxed, and he looked like a kitten. It was adorable.

        Jisung only looked up when someone caught his hand. He looked up to see Changbin, who he just noticed was sitting beside him, looking away and scrolling through something on his phone. Jisung blushed and gripped Changbin's hand back. He would take the affection willingly, because he needed it most now.

          "So, Jinnie! How did you sleep last night?" Chan asked, getting up to get another cup of coffee. Hyunjin shot up, shocked. He was drifting off, and was startled.

         "Oh-! I'm okay Channie Hyung! I mean, I slept okay," Jeongin laughed, loud and bright, which caused Jisung to loosen up more and giggle too. Jisung felt his hand squish more between Chanbin's own hand.

          "Pfft, okay Jinnie. How about you Seungminnie?" It seemed Chan was in a good mood, or maybe he was just pretending. Jisung didn't know, but he hoped it was real. Minho was practically glaring at him. His look was almost scalding. It was weighted, and that was what Jisung feared. He didn't want to drag his members down, but he was. The weight that was over him transferred right to Minho. Jisung sighed and started to get up so he could get his precious chocolate milk, when Minho spoke.

          "I like it when you wear my clothes." Jisung paused, and smiled bashfully as a thanks.

        He tried to get up again, but Felix practically crawled on him. Jisung tried to reason with him, and get him off so he could get his milk, but he wouldn't budge.

          "What, Lixie?" He mumbled, and cuddled closer into him. He wasn't about to reject special Felix Cuddles for a second time.

        "You're warm," Was Felix's response. 'Yeah, right,' Jisung thought to himself.

         "Here you are Hyungie!" Jeongin placed a large glass of his milk in front of him. Jisung was shocked. If anything, it would be Hyunjin who would get his drink for him, but he would usually need to beg him, and they would never let him have a glass bigger than a normal water glass. Jisung quickly pushed the negative thoughts away, but a few still escaped into his head. 'It's pity' 'They don't actually like you' 'You interrupted their sleep, y'know? Cause you can't keep your ugly mouth shut.' 'They hate you' Jisung shook his head. He twisted as much as he could,and gave Jeongin a huge hug. Like normal, Jeongin struggled a bit, before eventually giving in and hugging back. Jisung giggled, now excited. He started sipping on his milk, and kicking his feet, unintentionally.

          Changbin placed his empty hand on Jisung's thigh, as his hands were busy holding milk. The conversations picked back up, and breakfast was placed on the table once Minho got up to help Chan and Hyunjin.

          'Maybe today won't be as bad as I thought,' Jisung thought as his thigh and the left side of his body generally heated up. Chocolate milk was filling his stomach, and the precious laughs of his members and friends made his heart swell further. The morning air could've never felt better.