Melancholy

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I clutch onto my books as I walk to my first class, potions. Last night has left my face with scrapes on my left upper cheek. It wasn't bleeding, but it definitely left a bruising mark. I keep my head down as I walk fast.

"Merlin, what happened to her face?"

I hear a group of girls whisper as I walk through the halls.

I quickly walk into potions and take a seat at the front of the class. No one will do anything to me if I sat near the professor. Merlin knows what they will do to me if I sat in the back.

I take out my notebook and quill as Snape begins his lecture. His eye diverts from the board to the back of the class as he lectures.

"Mr. Malfoy, sit next to Ms. Widows."

Professor Snape says unamusingly.

Draco groans as he walks over with his school bag towards me. He takes a seat and moves his chair all the way to the edge of the desk, as if I was a plague. The lecture continues, but I can't focus.

I think about my mother to our finances. Every since my father was sent to Azkaban, my mother had to find a job to keep us float. We were wealthy, yes, but with the fines we had to pay and with my father not working anymore, we were on a tight budget. My mother didn't want to sell the Widows manor, so she decided to work in the ministry. Her job isn't prestigious and she had to pay a lot for our Manor to remain in our possession, so I can't buy much this year.

Happiness that I haven't felt for a long time ignites as class ends. I reach for my book bag on the floor, but something is keeping it down.

"Can you please move your shoe?"

I ask politely to Draco.

He removes his foot, surprisingly, but puts it back down when I grab onto it. My book bag tears, and he smiles.

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I walk into the common room in the afternoon. Every single class is now done, the day is over. I spot my old friends, Emery and Trinity. They both are standing by the window, talking to each other. I walk over to them hesitantly. I know it isn't smart, but some naive child in me is still hopeful.

"Hey, Trinity and Emery."

I greet.

They stop their conversation and stare at me with sharp eyes as if we are strangers. They both glare at me as they begin to walk away. I grab onto Trinity's wrist, causing her to snap her hand away as she turns towards me.

"What?"

She snaps.

"I know that my father caused a lot of chaos, and I know that my reputation is shit."

I say.

"Okay, and?"

Emery asks.

"I hope we're still friends. It wasn't even my fault that it happened."

I say.

They both roll their eyes as they walk away from me, ignoring everything that I had just said.

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Draco stares at the lonely girl as she stands still at the window. He is sitting on the leather couch next to Blaise and Pansy as they all talk.

"Isn't she pathetic?"

Pansy spat as she follows Draco's eyes.

"She is."

Draco sneers with hatred.

Draco hates Iris. He doesn't hate her through what she did, but through what her father has done. Lucius is now in Azkaban, along with his aunt.

"Didn't you guys have enough with her though?"

Blaise asks, his tone neutral.

"My father went to Azkaban because of hers."

Draco says as he turns to Blaise.

"It wasn't her fault, though. Can't you see that she's miserable already?"

Blaise explains.

"Nonsense, that bitch deserves hell."

Pansy says, causing Blaise to sigh.
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I walk away from the window, my head staring at the floor. I pass the common room and the halls to the courtyard. I rarely smoke, only during stressful times, but I have the urge to. My entire life is a mess, a crumble of what it used to be.

I sit down on the grass as I light my cigarette. In the muggle world, people smoke as if they want to die. This stick that I light causes pain and discomfort that can not be easily erased in the world consumed by muggles. Here, you can fix it with a simple drop of potion. However, it makes me wonder if I secretly smoke it at times to die. It can be easily fixed, yes, I know that, but deep down I think that I do it to kill a part of me, in a way. I can't explain it, I can't explain the way I think.

A light drizzle of rain begins to fall, causing people in the courtyard to disappear. I don't mind the rain though. I never thought that I would end up alone and miserable in my fifth year. It feels weird that I went from no one to the most hated girl in Hogwarts. I sit alone everywhere in the castle, well, maybe except potions class.