Hold Me Closer

Part Eight

I didn't see Jason for the next week. We said hello and exchanged little snippets of conversation during Biology, but apart from that...radio silence. Arundel Academy had upped the pressure as a week of mock exams approached and suddenly the parties and founder's day punch was long forgotten in a slurry of textbooks, highlighters and endless to-do lists.

In a way, it was a strange kind of bliss. I didn't have to think about Mike and Meg, I didn't have to think about what nearly happened with Jason, I didn't have to delve into memories I wanted to avoid. Everything became micromanaged, about the next exam, the next essay and I felt better able to handle it. Like Tetris, perfect little boxes that I could live inside.

But that didn't stop my mind from returning to Jason in almost every free moment.

Jason. His face that night seemed to be ingrained on my mind so that every time I shut my eyes, it was there. His hair paled in the moonlight, his cheekbones outlined in shadows, his eyes darkened, the pupils blown out. 

And because I'm not one of those cool, blasé girls that you see in the movies who flows from boyfriend to boyfriend, my mind was micro-analysing every single moment of that night. Had he been about to kiss me? Is that what I wanted? He certainly looked like he was leaning in, but maybe he had been about to move another piece of my hair or get down or something...

God, this was confusing. I mean, I knew the game plan. Why I had come here and all that jazz. And that hadn't included finding more things that would tie me to England, that would make me want to make my home here. It was supposedly to help me to move on and join my erratic, crazy mother and her boyfriend in the Netherlands. Brilliant, just brilliant, I thought sarcastically.

"I hate this," Meg mumbled next to me.

"Same," I agreed, thinking about the tangle of problems that was my life.

I jolted out of my reverie and realised that Meg was certainly not talking about Jason. It was our free period and Meg was camped out in my room (which she swore was warmer, but we both knew was just cleaner) as we went over notes together. Looking over, I saw her slumped over a textbook as she doodled a moustache on one of the scholars she was studying in Philosophy.

"Ah, so I see the studying is going well then," I teased, and watched as she scowled a little in response.

"How am I supposed to miraculously absorb all this into my mind? Osmosis?"

"And I suppose that is why we had the secret G & T's the other night, then? Help with the absorption?" I joked, fondly remembering how Meg had snuck into my room for some late night studying drinks. 

"Naturally," Meg retorted, giving me a sly smile. However, she was obviously feeling stressed as it didn't stay on her face for long and she put her head in her hands hopelessly.

"Why are you even studying Olivander?" Meg questioned, using the nickname that she had given me a couple of days ago. "Aren't you some freaky genius or something?"

"Not in biology!" I protested, gesturing to my blank page. "I thought meiosis was a type of foot scrub the first time Dino mentioned it."

"Yeah and I suppose it doesn't help when you're staring dreamily into Jason's eyes the whole time," Meg chuckled.

I threw a poorly aimed book at her head. "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies-" I began to sing badly.

"Fine, fine, fine," Meg said, throwing her hands up in surrender. "I'm just imaging it then. Just like I'm imaging you blushing now..."

I felt myself blush even harder and cursed whatever Scottish grandma I had inherited my pale skin from for the thousandth time. "There is nothing going on between me and Jason." I said firmly, feeling silly for even having to bring it up. "We're just friends, that's all. And plus, we barely know each other! I only moved here a couple of months ago!"