you taught me the courage of stars before you left

starry sky in your eyes

Notes:

first off, sorry for writing this I'm just stuck in iwaoi hell-

English isn't my first language so please bare with me.

And please keep in mind that some subjects could be triggering ( I will put a TW! so it won't stop anyone from reading)

——

You who suffer because you love, love still more. To die of love, is to live by it.

-victor hugo

July 20th:

"Happybirth-- '

"I love you" Oikawa whispered, out of breath. As if he was suffocating and had to catch his breath, "I love you so much," he murmured again.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow slightly confused.

"yeah, i lov--"

" No ," Oikawa cuts off, " no , you don't get it"

Tooru took a deep breath, looking up at the sky. He started counting the stars lighting up the deep blue sky a while ago, and he continued doing so as he chose his words.

Iwaizumi stoop up, "Oikawa, are you o--"

"I'm in love with you."

Iwazumi's face froze as he tensed beside Oikawa. Oikawa stifles a laugh of relief. After three long years, after three long years where he could only dream of it, he had finally admitted it.

"I love you," he said once more, like it's something that was made for his lips to whisper, "I love you, Iwa-chan"

Oikawa kept his eyes fixed on the starry sky, conscious of the weight of his confession. He didn't need to turn around to know that lying next to him, Iwaizumi was petrified. After all, who could be crazy enough to confess their feelings to their childhood friend? How many years had he just ruined with 3 little words?

"I-," Iwaizumi sighed, "i don't-- i mean, i've just never--"

"Oh, I know" laughed Oikawa bitterly, "I know..."

Believe me, he knows. He always knew. His love was, is, and will always be unrequited. But as the years went by, his feelings kept on getting stronger and stronger and he just couldn't lie about it anymore. Loving Iwaizumi felt like dying. His heart was aching all the time, his blood boiling inside of him. And god, he just couldn't seem to breathe, it was so suffocating. It felt like drowning.

"I'm sorry," said Iwaizumi, because what else could he say?

"I know," he whispered again. A pause. "are you mad?"

"Mad? Oikawa no- what-- no, I'm not mad, why would I be? "

"I don't know."

"Look," started Iwaizumi with a delicate voice, "I love you, but just, not like that,"

Oikawa finally turned his head towards him, a reassuring smile on his face. Encouraging him to continue.

"I don't want to lose you. Is it okay if we stay friends? " Iwaizumi asked, scratching the back of his head,"best friend, we're best friends right?"

"yeah, we're best friends" Oikawa nodded.

And they were. Since that day in kindergarten, where Oikawa had been so terrified that he had bitten down his lip until it bled and Iwaizumi had appeared, holding out his hand gently. His eyes had read. "It's okay you know, you're not alone" but instead he had smiled and exclaimed "Cool shirt! Your name's Oikawa, right? »