Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly[Kellin Quinn/SleepingWithSirens]

Chapter 9: Breaking down again...

WARNING!! If triggered easily take caution in reading this chapter. I hope you like it!

Kellin's POV

       I look at her questioningly. She suddenly bursts into tears. Shit, why did I ask that? I ask myself. I feel guilt run through me. And I lean towards her to put a comforting arm around her, but she pushes away from me and runs down the hall into the bathroom. I here the door slam and I feel like like i've been slapped. I'm worried about her again.

Alli's POV

       I slide down the wall gripping my sides again. Tears slide down my cheeks. When he asked that question it made me think about everything that happened the night before. The memories break my heart all over again. My mom...I can't believe i've lost both my mom and dad now. Even if I know my dad is out there somewhere but I don't believe I'll ever see him again. I hardly remember my dad because I was so young but when I sleep I can faintly see him in my dreams. Its my fault my mom and dad left. I wish I never existed. I start to cry really hard, choking because I can't catch my breath. I swear they can probably hear me outside the door, but I can't calm down. My hearts in a million pieces, and I can't find any of them. I see a razor carelessly thrown on the floor next to the tub. Allison Don't. I tell myself. But I'm in so much pain, its a reflex. I grab the razor, pull my sleeve up, and place the razor to my wrist. I start making, one, two, three cuts, I'm starting to feel that tingling numbness that overcomes me when I cut, then suddenly the door to the bathroom is shoved open, and there stands Kellin, looking from me to the razor pressed to my wrist; that I've pressed a little to deep from being startled.

Kellin's POV

       I'm frozen in place for a minute. I look at her, as I see the blood I feel anger start to bubble inside me. I don't know why I'm so angry and I sort of do. I walked in on a good friend doing this once. I'd had to save him. I jump to action calling to the guys for someone to bring me a bandage. I yank the razor out of her hand and examine her wrist. All of them are pretty deep, but one is deeper then the rest. I attempt to choke back the anger that threatens to burst out of me. I can't look her in the eyes she'll see how much this bothers me. I stand up and grab her other arm yanking her up, not meaning to be as rough as this action ended up being. I go stand at the sink and grab a washcloth from under it. I turn the faucet on and wet it with warm water. I take her other arm and turn it where her cut up arm is facing up. I dab the wet cloth on her cuts, trying to be gentle. I hear her gasp, she trys to pull away, but I hold her in place firmly. I yell, "If you don't want to go to the fucking hospital for this, I suggest you suck it up." As soon as I say it I feel awful. I sigh loudly and press the damp cloth to her arm. I want to look at her but I still can't, especially after that.

Alli's POV

      I feel like I was just punched in the gut. I never thought he'd act like that. I want to dig myself into a hole. Why am I so stupid?? I can't believe I did that. I can't believe he found me doing that. I look into the mirror. I have tear streaked cheeks, and my mascara is running everywhere. He has his head down. Why won't he look at me? My thoughts are interrupted as Jack comes barreling into the room carrying bandages. "Took you long enough, now just go back to the other room." Kellin says, still sounding angry. Jack gives him a werid look and leaves, closing the door. Kellin takes the bandages and starts wrapping them neatly around my arm. His hands are shaking, I feel horrible for making him feel the way hes feeling. When he gets it secured he rolls my hoodie sleeve down over it. He suddenly grabs my chin and turns me to face him. He searches my eyes. And I see a lot of emotion in his right now. His blue eyes look angry and sad. I see his eyes start to cloud and I see his bottom lip start to quiver almost unnoticable but I saw it. This kills me. "Why, why did you do this?" the sound of him pleading with me makes me start crying again. "I-I don't deserve to be here its all my fault." I sob hard after saying this. Hes grabbing me by the shoulders and is looking down at me. I wanna hide. I cry harder. Why? I honestly don't know. But the way hes looking at me is driving me insane. Its the look of someone careing. And its overwhelming. Then before I know it hes holding me close, hugging me tightly to his chest, and I'm crying on him again. I'm breaking down again and he cares. Someone really cares...