Always with you!

Chapter 4 HOME

As the turn approached her street, the journey was almost complete; she was now in her ecological niche and as she looked out of the window of the car realizing that she will now only be going home as a visitor and that weighed on her but somehow, she felt the same about the place as she felt about her family. The dimly lit street was empty but she could see a forest of details that unfolded to her as her car moved closer to her home. It was both space and time defining her feelings and as the car stopped she could see one man who was walking back and forth in front of her house on the otherwise empty street. And even at this senseless glance wherein, the darkness prohibited her to see a face, she knew it was her father. She ran out to hug him but it was not just her father she was embracing it was all the yesteryears of her life, of her world, she had left here. In the tears, Vanshika was incapable of speech or silence or more precisely, she was speaking with her silence.

The darkness of the street had also somewhat Added to a Sweet caricature denigrate in her own experience as, since her childhood, the darkness had bought her father home every night, but this time it had bought her to them. No other jagged details everyday life endorsed mutual identification and as they entered the gates, the air filled with the sweet smell of home-cooked food but it was not just the smell, it was her mother's love that she was breathing. Vanshika ran towards her mother in the kitchen and touched her feet. Her mother pulled her up pressing her to her cheeks and kissed vanshika and blessed her. They had the kind of bond a civilization could be forged on. Her father stood outside leaning to the wall in his rapturous cry of gratitude and looked at them as if happiness were advancing out of his dreams. Remembering Vanshika's early childhood. She had two sisters yet her father was more connected to her, none of his daughters came to him with wishes or questions as frequently as Vanshika did.

Yesterday was an extremely restless day-not agonizingly Restless, Just restless. Today, Vanshika felt serene and happy. In the kitchen, as her mother held her hands, Vanshika's face was sheltered by the light coming from behind her, yet she had a distinct view of her mother's eye being filled with tears and ultimately falling, as glistening as pearls. Her mother "Anju" pulled her towards her sofa in the hall. Vanshika discerned details of her mother's face she rarely had the pleasure of beholding, Anju was in her late 40's, Slender and very fair, had brown hair, golden mangalsutra hanged loosely on her delicate neck. Dark circles beneath her eyes were her courage; it took to raise children, more of it to keep them away.

Vanshika was utterly in the present and had no desire to be anywhere else in the future. At dinner, her childish whims were returning, her mother too was carving for it, after the marriage of Vanshika's two elder sisters. They had been alone for these seven months. And as she ate the food, it had a certain taste of memory, which now was more profound to her taste buds than ever.

This single night had smouldered away the drabness of the Last seven months, the clock in and the clock out, the mechanized, robotic, routine, and cold life. She lived in the heart of a city and even then she hadn't, grown used to having the tepid, orange glow of streetlamps outside her apartment window, their light filtering in through the gaps in the curtains. She only recalled the blackness of starless sky- one that was almost absolute. And as the night fell to more darkness and she went to her room, she recalled the comfort of her bed, the coldness of the sheets which only reinforced her Admiration of it, finally in earnest & Heartily, She slipped into it tilting her head skyward towards the balcony she could see millions of bright stars dotted on the black canvas of night. All of that light seemed to filter far enough down through her amber eyes and Just before her thoughts became disorganized enough they released her mind into sleep.

In the morning, Vanshika's eyes flew open. A welcoming aroma tickled her nose; she could smell the tea brewing with a hint of ginger. The metallic clatter of pots and pans, splutter of water from the bathroom faucet were like the most beautiful sounds, she was glad the journey still holds. She stepped out onto the porch like her old morning ritual; the balcony was a concrete ledge wit square rough edges and a rusty rail, but it was her oasis. Which whatever space her chair did not occupy, she had filled it with potted plants and in the spring and summer seasons, it was a riot of colour. On her balcony, she always enjoyed her stargazing, the breeze, the sun, and even sometimes sat out in misty rain. Yet this time she saw all the buildings in admiration, aged in time and among only a limited few things that hadn't changed about her neighbourhood and may be which, had long charmed her soul, insinuating her in Perspicacity. At first a faint voice, that now Almost echoed in the room ''Vanshika'', ''Beta'' and It immediately drew her back. Her mother was there with her Tea in a blue mug, devoid of warmth, and almost forgotten by her memory. From a much-extolled encouragement, she almost ran towards Anju (her mother). Drinking tea and conversations bending over various pages of their lives, smiles of flattering eminence emerged in commemoration of the memories.

As they passed over, their daily routine, their conversations continued, in bits, of wisdom, of thoughts, dreams, caution, and experience. Vanshika felt reproved by her mind. Her lawyers had again taken charge. She didn't want to leave and as the days passed over, that thought only became more prominent. She missed being carefree, yet now she had to be more careful. Every day she was growing more and more incapable of her domestic soil. She had a ceaseless inward announcement "I Don't want to leave."Seeing her in such Indisposition, her father somehow read the notion on her face. He generally walked down the stairs, sat next to her. She was in discord yet her head tilted on his shoulders, speaking her mind

"I don't want to leave" she said in almost childlike dreariness .Her father knowing she had nothing in harmony; He told her "When you're working, be 100% focused on work. When you're with us, be 100% focused on the home. I rejoice that your labours (Studies) are ended with your enthusiast; you are doing a job that you wanted. We are proud of you. If you undertake something, do it completely, do it well, and do not quit till you bring it to its logical conclusion. And to do it well, do only one thing at a time. We are always here and when you are there we will come to see you soon."

She had a thin tear stopped only by her lower tarsus, making her eyes reflective. Her father's words flowed like a torrent & in his sweet leisure, mingled with the enchantment of elated recollection recalled unknowingly. As brief this reunion of the family was, she saw no other mode of preventing her continual absence from home. She could hardly sink any deeper in her sadness. She was free of everything and yet unquestionably locked within herself. Her anxieties were not dissipated but she understood and said that through her smile. Realising it was her last day of the trip in this home; one thought came after another yet she was captivated by the thought of parental embrace." She had Hugged my father only twice in this life, although she was sure he has hugged her and carried her far too many more as a child. She does remember him smiling even with a childlike glee. This past week has been different she has hugged them far too many times and have been captivated by it. She was convinced of one thing that It was her duty rather essence of her life to watch over them" she lost deep in thoughts dropped her feet down the bed and walked to her parents. She saw both her parents packing her some homemade snacks. Her eyes twinkled gaily; she pondered something with a smile.

Limited in her ideas she tried to vividly keep her home in her memories to visit them again for she knew she would need them. She had a strong resolve to get past the difficulties in habituating herself to new life and unwonted tasks that comes with it. As she sat down to pack her belongings, things litter all over her bed which she packed unconsciously pondering over her return. Next spring she'll long again to be under this roof and that thought too stemmed from her own desire.