A Moment of Elysium ✅ (Namjin) | By Dew

5

Seokjin had been stuck in these loops long enough to know that sometimes, he could just reach forward and reset it. That sometimes he did not need to die to have a fresh start. It wasn't always possible, the process required for Seokjin to be intensely concentrated and feel dead inside. Hopeless and desperate and scared.

When he woke up in the middle of the night, Seokjin felt both of those things. Their... activity left him clear minded and the thought of mistakes that he had made rendered him frozen with fear and desperation. So Seokjin closed his eyes and reached for it, for a feeling he had only recently discovered, for a start he needed.

He opened his eyes much, much later, tired to the bones and memories jumbled up. Seokjin almost sighed in release and exhaustion until he felt some things he shouldn't be feeling.

Warmth. The sheet on his bed wasn't enough to provide him with the warmth he was currently surrounded with.

Scent. It wasn't the fresh breeze from his window but the scent of oil mixed with the musk of a man and smell of sex.

Weight. Though he should be alone, Seokjin felt an arm on his waist, pressing him down and against a solid wall of muscles.

His vision cleared to confirm his suspicions. The walls were not of his bedroom where he should have woken up but they were of a room that he had moaned in last night.

"No."

Seokjin's lips wobbled, his body colder than the frost itself and heart speeding faster than a jet. He had felt it, he had reset the loop in the middle of the night so why...

"Mmm", the deep hum in his earn made Seokjin shiver in both horror and pleasure, the arm tightening around his waist. He waited, barely breathing as Namjoon finally settled behind him, breathing calm and rhythmic.

"It's..." Seokjin carefully, slowly, removed the arm from his waist, "no... it's not possible."

Somehow it was. Somehow even though Seokjin had desperately reached forward to reset the loop, his request hadn't been accepted. He breathed shallow as he gathered his clothes up, feeling the pleasant soreness of his body. But he couldn't enjoy it, couldn't look fondly at the bruises around his neck because they weren't supposed to be there.

"I've ruined it..." was this the punishment of taking the loop for granted? Seokjin had done what his heart craved; went for a pleasure he was greedy for all the while knowing that he would erase everything with his power.

Was it taken away from him? Was the punishment of his greed and lust so severe?

"Seokjin..."

The whisper was fond, Namjoon's brows knitted as his hand looked for a figure in his empty arms. Seokjin looked around the room before spotting a big pillow, settling it where he previously laid. Namjoon grasped it with a smile, cuddling close with a fond hum.

It warmed his heart, it made him hope that maybe this was for good until he realised how selfish that was. The friends were still suffering a terrible fate and all Seokjin cared for was himself.

"I'm sorry."

He ran, away from his mistake and away from the man that would no doubt be disappointed in him. He could tell last night that his feelings weren't unrequited but he knew that Namjoon wouldn't have done it all if Seokjin hadn't begged him.

(He would have probably taken it slow, gentle and innocent. The thought itself, of a timeline where they could have taken their time made his eyes well up.)

He did Seokjin a favour, gave Seokjin a gift of pleasant memories but now he would wake up in the same timeline and with the same memories.

"He will think I cheated him", Seokjin slipped down against the closed door of his room, staring at the bed he should have woken up on, "He will think that all this was false... that I made up stories to sleep with him."