Dead by 24: An Autobiography

Getting Better

 Today is the day I'd been dreading. I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was just anxiety. But it was the day of my first, real doctors appointment for my baby. I was around 4 months pregnant now, so I had a little bit of a baby bump, but not enough to where people could tell. Amara had offered to go with me, but I told her that it was okay, I would be fine on my own. I had gotten more comfortable with Amara, I opened up to her more, but I still couldn't bring myself to ask her for anything. She gave me a roof and food. That's all I could ever want.

When I got to the hospital, I was filling out the forms the nurse up front gave me. A lot of the questions, I didn't know how to answer. Like I didn't know what Amara's number was for the apartment. And I never had a general practitioner before.

"You can put my general practitioner down, and the apartment number is 775-408-6963." I jumped when I heard Amara's voice. I wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there. "I followed you because I knew you wouldn't know all of the information. I came to help and for moral support, because no one should have to do this alone." She grabbed my hand and that little movement made me feel like everything was going to be okay. So I handed her the clipboard with the paperwork on it, and she started filling it out. The personal information, such as my birthday, she asked me. Once the paper was filled out, she took it back up to the desk and came and sat back down. I took this as my opportunity to ask something I had been wanting to ask since I moved in.

"Why are you doing this?" I knew it was blunt, but I had to know.

"Why am I doing what, sitting here?" She had a look of confusion and something else on her face, but I couldn't quite tell what it was.

"No. Why are you helping me? I mean. I was a nobody back home. I was the kid that got bullied all the time and then disappeared. Why help me?" I was fighting to hold back tears when she squeezed my hand and scooted closer to me.

"I'm helping you because I like you. I have since I met you. And before my mom passed, she told me you ran away from home, and if I ever found you, to take you in so you didn't have the life she did. She was on the streets when she had me. We didn't have an apartment until I was going into kindergarten. She was also assaulted which ended in her having me. I made a promise to help you. Falling for you was just icing on the cake." And in that moment, I could taste the rest of my life. Amara kissed me right there, in the hospital, in front of everyone. It was short, and sweet, but my God it was perfect.

"Oren Winter?" A voice called out. It was the doctor, telling me she would see me now.

"Come on. Let's go look at our baby." And with that, Amara and I walked into the back with the doctor, hand in hand.

After the doctor's appointment, Amara had to go to work, before school. She worked at a little café a few blocks from the apartment. She kissed me goodbye, and away she walked. I watched my whole life walk away to work, and I couldn't be more happy. I walked back toward our apartment when I felt someone grab my arm and whip me around. The next thing I saw was the barrel of a revolver two inches from my face.

"Give me your wallet and your jewelry and you won't get hurt." The voice sounded familiar, I never saw a face though. He had on a ski mask and how no one noticed, I will never know.

"Okay, okay. Just don't hurt me. I'm pregnant."

That was the last thing I remembered before waking up in the hospital. I had so many tubes running out of me, and there was an incessant beeping noise next to me. I looked to my left, and there was my angel sitting next to me, peacefully sleeping. I made a slight noise, which startled her awake.

"I didn't mean to startle you awake, but what happened? Weren't we just here?"

"Oren, what do you remember?"

I told her about the robber, and how his voice sounded familiar, and told her what I said to him, and then waking up here.

"Okay. You were shot in the stomach, right above your hip bone. The doctor said you were extremely lucky it didn't hit any vital organs. But-" she trailed off, and I could see tears well up in her eyes.

"What? But what, Amara?"
"Twice in one day, eh? Well. At least you're awake. Let's take a look at you, shall we?" The nurse who did my ultrasound earlier walked in. She started checking my monitors and writing things down on her clipboard.

"Is my baby okay? Is she okay? Please tell me nothing happened to her." My heart rate started to sky rocket and I started to cry. I didn't care what happened to me, I just wanted to know if my baby made it.

"Im sorry, hun. But your baby didn't make it. You lost too much blood due to the gunshot."

And with that, I lost it. I lost everything. The one thing that had kept me going since New York, and it was gone. My baby girl was gone. I didn't know if she was a boy or girl. We wanted to keep it a surprise, but I had a gut feeling she was a beautiful baby girl, with bright brown eyes like mine.
"Just tell me this. Was my baby healthy? Was she okay?" I don't know why I asked this, I just felt like I needed to know.

"Yes, she was very healthy, and in fact, a little girl." The nurse walked out, and I couldn't move. Not only because it hurt to move, but I was paralyzed with fear.

"Hey. We're going to be okay. Everything will be okay. Maybe not now, or for a few weeks, but it will be. I promise. I'm not going anywhere." She grabbed my hand, and I believed her. I knew everything would be okay as long as I had her by my side.