Dead by 24: An Autobiography

Walks and Dinners

 When you tell people, you're 19, engaged, and have your life figured out, they give you a weird look and tell you it's not possible. But for me, it was possible. I did have it figured out, but I had no idea what the future had in store for me. I was just living my life, planning out my wedding for next summer. It was going to be pastel themed, mainly pink and yellow as those were our favorite colors. It was going to be on the beach, and we would have pink and yellow, respectively, long flowy dresses. We didn't want a big ceremony, only a few friends, and some of her family. I didn't even bother telling any of mine, because I knew they probably thought I was dead. The wedding was in a few months and I was nervous. Not because I didn't want to go through with it, but because I thought everything was going to go wrong and Amara wouldn't want to go through with it. I still wasn't sure why she wanted to marry me.

"Whatcha thinkin about, baby?" She walked into the bedroom with me. I didn't even hear her open the door.

"Nothing. Just thinkin about how I got so lucky." I smiled up at her, and she kissed me.

"I'm gonna go start dinner, do you mind going and taking Fudge for a walk?" She turned back toward me as she was walking out the door.

"Nope. Not at all. I know you enjoy dancing around in the kitchen while you cook." I laughed and watched as her face got bright red.

"I do not. Now get out of here before I kick you." She laughed back and walked out the door.

I slipped my shoes on, grabbed the leash, clipped it on Fudge's collar, and out the door we went. We took our normal route, through the park a few miles away, over to a coffee cart, picked up a dog bone, and my usual Vanilla Iced Coffee, and then home. By that time, it was dark, and I knew dinner would be done. Amara was nothing, if not on time with everything.

"Honey, we're home." I called out, but I heard nothing except the theme song from her favorite anime, Fruits Basket. I smiled, because I knew she didn't hear me and she would be in the kitchen dancing. I rounded the corner, and sure enough. She was dancing, singing, with a big smile on her face. I sat at the counter and just admired what I got to watch the rest of my life. She turned around and jumped about half a foot in the air.

"Oh my gosh, I totally didn't see you there. I was just-" I walked over and kissed her.

"I called out for you, but you didn't hear me. I've been watching you for about 10

minutes now." I smiled and she buried her face in my neck. I took a look at what was in the pot, and it was tomato soup. I could smell the bread in the oven.

"How was the walk?" She smiled as she poured the tomato soup into two bowls.

"It was pretty good, the sunset was beautiful as ever. Little chilly though." Its spring time right now, so it was starting to warm up in the day time, but night was still a bit chilly.

We sat down, ate dinner, fed Fudge, and watched anime until we fell asleep. How could someone be so beautiful awake and asleep? This girl was my entire life, and I was 100% ready to give her the rest of mine.

The week of our wedding was hectic. We had gotten everything planned out, but it was still stressful. We had to pick up the dresses, and set the beach up and try to keep everyone away. Thankfully it was at a place not many people went, so it wasn't too hard to keep people out. We still set up tape around the area we needed as precaution. I was determined to make everything perfect.

"Hey. You ready to go?" Right. We had a dinner date planned tonight with Amara's two sisters to tell them. I know. A bit last minute, but today was the only day they had free.

"Yeah. Give me two seconds." I closed my binder that had all the pictures of everything, grabbed my jacket and slipped on my black combat boots. "Okay. Now I'm ready." I grabbed the keys to our 2012 Chevy Malibu and walked out the door.

When we got to the restaurant, her sisters were already there. They waved us over, and we walked to their table. It was a corner booth, more away from the rest of the tables. Amara sat down first, and I sat down next to her.
"Its good to see you again, kid. What's it been, since Mom died, right?" I felt my hand being grabbed, and I looked over to Amara, who had a stone cold face. That was far from normal, so I knew she was nervous.

"So. We kinda have something to tell you guys. It's a little last minute, but Amara still wanted to tell you." I wasn't as nervous as Amara was, but I was still nervous.

"Yeah, we kinda figured. What's up?" They said, confused.

"Well. We're getting married in 4 days, and we both would like you to be there." The grip on my hand tightened, and as I returned, Amara spoke up.

"It would really mean a lot to me if you both came. You're the only family I have left, and I want my family to be at the most important day of my life. I-"

"Yes. We will be there. Where, and what time?" They both had big smiles on their faces. Amara's grip lightened on my hand, but she was still holding it.

"The beach, around 4:00. Thank you so much for coming." The smile on her face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Always had been, always will be.

We ordered our dinner, and ate. Amara and her sisters, Sierra and Kylie, caught up on life. Sierra was married with a baby on the way, Kylie was in her fourth year of college, studying to be a vet. After dinner, we parted ways and went home. That night, as soon as we got into bed, I heard quiet sniffles.

"Baby? Are you okay?" She turned around and had tears streaming down her face. I held out my arms, and she scooted closer. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm right here."

"I never....cried... over my mom's death.... So when they brought it up....i-" she started sobbing, and I held her tighter. I held her all night, while she cried and all I wanted to do was to make it all go away. She didn't need this. Not right now. Not ever.