The Smile Has Left Your Eyes

Chapter Three

Aspen

The light buzzing of my phone startled me awake yet again. I'd lost count of how many times this had happened, but I hadn't bothered to pick it up or see who it was.

I wasn't really in a position to care at the moment.

I didn't think I'd left my bed in a couple of days. It might have been Sunday, but that could be off. I hadn't showered, eaten, drunk, or simply gotten out of bed. It was warm under my thick, heavy blankets. They felt like a shield, and as long as I was covered, nothing could hurt me.

Except, deep down, I knew that wasn't true. My brother could come in at any moment and decide he wanted to have some more fun. With my parents gone, he had free range to do whatever he wanted. When they traveled, I usually stayed out... But this time I didn't feel like getting up. I couldn't. My curtains had remained closed and I'd spent my time in the dark, sleeping and trying to forget about everything that hurt.

My weekend was full of nothing but pain. Physical, mental, the whole shebang. My brother didn't come home and I'd never been so thankful in my life.

I'd gotten lucky—there were no bruises on my face from when he punched me, although the same could not be said for the rest of my body. At least those parts could be hidden by clothes.

My boisterous alarm rang out, adding to my already-intense headache and cluing me in that it was, in fact, Monday morning, which meant another day of being around people that would hate me if they knew I was gay, and another baseball practice that would push me to my limits on the pain spectrum. Despite knowing the weather was going to be over eighty degrees today, I wore a navy-blue, nearly-black long-sleeve with a square-graphic image in the center. I paired it with regular denim jeans. My outfit was practical and, above all, comfortable. Minus the fact that it made me ten times more likely to come down with heatstroke.

I grabbed my unbearable amount of gear and headed through the front door to be met with Rafe's car parked outside. I threw my stuff into the backseat and climbed into the passenger seat.

I wanted to avoid the topic of why I'd been MIA all weekend, so I started the conversation first. "Did you have fun with Amelia?" I asked, fully aware that the two had gone on an obnoxiously sweet date whilst I'd hidden from my brother and struggled not to kill myself.

"Holy shit, dude, Saturday was great. We went to the beach, and damn, her body is gorgeous. There aren't a lot of girls with asses like hers. And after that, we went to a drive-in movie and cuddled in the backseat wrapped in blankets. I even gave her my sweatshirt. She looked so adorable swimming in it!" Rafe rambled on and on about the pale girl with waist-length brown hair and greenish-hazel eyes, who he'd been dating for about two weeks now.

I couldn't think of an emotion to describe how I was feeling. It was like a painful tingle radiating through my body and settling into the pit of my stomach. Rafe's definition of a perfect date... all the things I'd never be able to do. The beach? I'd rather be caught dead than have to take my shirt off in front of him, so that was a hard no. I could go to a drive-in movie, but we wouldn't be able to cuddle, not in this town. And his sweatshirts were the same size as mine, so there'd be no point.

"I'm taking her out to dinner this weekend and she said her parents are going to be out of town." Although the sly smile on his face stung a bit, I was unfazed. This wasn't the first time he'd had a girlfriend and I could guarantee it wouldn't be the last. Rafe hadn't been through a lot of girls or anything, he just seemed to have some issues with commitment.

"Looks like someone's gonna get lucky!" I tried to offer some form of enthusiasm. My best friend liked to share details I'd have been better off not knowing, but at least he seemed happy.