FRIENDS

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 1- 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

Tuesday morning i woke up from the sound of my alarm i was too lazy to attend school with these bruises all over my body. I stood up and went to my bathroom i opened the lights and saw my face in the mirror.

"𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨?" I spoke to my self while a tear fell on my cheeks and hissed in pain since there was a fresh cut on the right side of my cheeks i slowly cares my cheeks remembering what happened yesterday. I cried silently not wanting my father to hear me crying because he hated it's annoying him. I step inside the shower to freshen up myself.

A noise is coming near me. It's getting closer the noise was getting loud and loud until it jump on me. I was struggling.

the house was a mess the other furnitures was broken then a loud crash was heard i was shaking in fear my eyes wided as my father was about to throw the vase.

I screamed. Then woke up feeling sweats all over my body my heart was pumping so fast as i hold my chest tightly. I check what time was it. It's 3:28 in the morning."𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢?" I questioned myself touching my face and there was no fresh cut i sighed in relief as i look at my arms bruises are everywhere even in my legs. Not noticing a tear fell on my cheeks. My life was not like this before, when my mother was still here my father treated me nicely he was a caring one a loving father. But everything had changed it was the opposite when my mother left us i didn't know the reason why she left us but starting from that day my father always blame me that i am the reason why mother left us.

He started to abuse me everyday starved me he didn't even let me out of my room during weekends."𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙪𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧?" i sob silently. I cried and cried until i fall asleep.

I packed food for myself and prepared my fathers breakfast. I always woke up early because i don't want him to shout on me early in the morning. Arriving at my school it was still early and it's normal for me to come here early i don't want people to stare at me while walking in the hallway. I don't have any friends i have trust issues since the day my bastard friends left me after they heard about my mother who left me and bullied me. They always say that i'm the reason why my mother left. I just ignore them. I pulled up my hood up and continued walking until i bumped into someone.

"𝙄-𝙞'𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮."

"𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚. 𝙉𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜." i said coldy and walked away not wanting to see his/her face as i proceed walking to our classroom.

As i entered the classroom i saw her. I didn't want to be her friend at the first place she keeps on trying her best to be close with me but i keep her pushing away. I wanted to pretend she wasn’t there, but she just wouldn’t go away. She was always with me, everywhere I went. Day and night she's always with me. I ignored her for one month but eventually I couldn’t ignore her any longer. So I agreed to be friends with her. She didn’t look anything like I thought she would. She looked normal she looked just like...me. I thought she’d be scary and creepy. I thought she’d have dark eyes and a heavy presence, that she’d be overwhelming, but she wasn’t. She was slightly darker than me, but otherwise almost just like me. But maybe that’s because she has been a part of me we became bestfriends i trusted her.

She blocks out the good parts of me and scream and yells so no one can hear me. In short, she silences me. I used to hate her at the first place, but now i’ve been used to her and accepted her presence. She makes my life so much more difficult, yet we remain close."𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥?" rina asked that's what i named her since she said she doesn't have a name when we first time met. I named her rina because it was close to my name and we looked alike.

"𝙁.𝙄.𝙉.𝙀." i replied as i went to my seat that was beside her.

"𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙚?" rina whispered.

"𝘽𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩!" she spoke as i glared at her.

"𝙔𝙚𝙨.𝘽𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩." and sat down.

Sometimes I get the better of her. When I’m feeling stronger than her, I’m able to fight her off and break through her shield. No one knows how hard that is, how much energy it takes to take her down. I can’t be social for too long, because I grow weak and she takes over again.

My mental health problems are real and they are valid. Our class began both rina and i was listening to our lesson.

"𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪!"

"𝙂𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙚!"

"𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙖𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙖!" My vision is getting blurry. I fainted the last words that i heard was my name.

"𝙎𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙖?"

"𝙎𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙖?!?"

"𝙎𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙖?!?"

My professor came to me and kneeled down infront of me as i was here lying down. My other classmates was panicking encountering the scene some of them even took videos of me. I didn't eat anything this past 3 days because my father didn't gave me anything.

"𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚! 𝙈𝙨.𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙧!" My proffesor yelled.

I woke up feeling a sting pain in my head my vision was still blurry my surrounding was running in circles as i feel more dizzy.

"𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩." rina said as i nodded my head.

It’s harder for the others to see rina i don't know why and easier for them to see me. I like that she gets weaker the more time I spend with a person, but she doesn’t ever go away. She loves to make me second guess myself and mess with my thoughts, disturb me. I wish she’d give me a break. But instead she decided to bring another person our new friend.

It was good having friends beside me but my new friend was shy. She hides behind me most of the time, but she’s always hanging on and i have someone to lean on. Some days she walks behind me, matching my steps. On those days she lets me smile. She lets me enjoy. She lets me laugh. I could almost forget she was there, if it weren’t for her hand resting on my shoulder, reminding me she’s still there. Not wanting to leave.

"𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣!"

"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚!"

"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩!"

"𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙢𝙚!"

the voice that keeps shouting on her mind.