Going Nowhere (Noel Gallagher)

3

We talked for a while, he told me all about the band, how they were going to be the next big band, and I was amused as ever by his enthusiasm. I told my story and existential adventures through England and time flew by, like an hour after we started chatting Maggie came to us.

"El"

"Mm?" I turned around, a bit tipsy and with a silly smile.

"I'm gonna go ahead and go home" and she kissed my cheek and walked away.

"Everything alright?" Liam asked.

"Yeah... I guess"

We kept talking and drinking, I got to know the lads in the band too, they were alright. Bonehead was really fun to have around.

I know Liam never was the kind to hold grudges, and that our relationship has this tendency to end abruptly bad and then recover somehow. But still, if I were him I wouldn't have my arms that open.

"You look great, y'know that?" Liam said.

"Thanks" I said in a flirty/friendly tone. "You do look like a lad in a band"

"Well I am"

I chuckled a bit "I mean you look good too"

He smiled while looking at me and then took a sip of his larger.

"And what about the fans? Are there any groupies yet?"

He laughed softly "No... You could be the first one"

I laughed "Ok, I guess I don't have any plans for the near future"

"I'll expect you to be there every gig"

"Alright, I'll be there"

I wanted to ask him about how I left again, it couldn't be all ok... But again the same problem, he had feelings for me (or so I suspected) that's why I couldn't ask about it then, and that's why I felt like I was unable to ask even 2 years later. Although our relationship has strong roots, I always feel like it could break at any second. I mean, it's happened twice already.

"Liam"

"Yeah" He said looking at me.

"I like the memories, y'know?"

He looked a bit confused "I like them too"

"But do you actually remember any of them?" I said with genuine curiosity.

He turned his torso to me, we were sat on the side of the stage "What's this 'bout"

"It's just... agh. When I asked if you were mad I meant if you still think back on the way I left"

He looked at the ground and even with all the noice around us I didn't hear anything for about a minute.

"I do" he paused "Sometimes"

We both were looking at the ground.

"I never got what you were sorry for"

After another silence, this one shorter than before I said "Everything, I guess"

***

After that we stayed in silence, more than awkward it was rather sad.

He offered to walk me home and I said yes.

We walked in silence.

I thought he would wave at me before turning to his door but he walked all the way to mine.

"How long are y'stayin?"

"Dunno"

"Well, then see ya at the boardwalk club Friday night" He said before turning around.

I tilted my head "What?"

"Our next gig"

"Oh, right" I said smiling softly.

***

The first thing I noticed when I woke up the next morning was this genaral feeling of regret.

I'd come to see Maggie and my mum. Then I went out with Maggie just to ditch her and reappear in Liam's life. Great.

I stood up fast and my head hurt a bit, even with that I kept going to the phone.

"...Maggie"

"Oh, El! Hi, how was last night?? Did summat happened?"

"What y'mean?"

"With Liam"

"Oh, right right.. um no we talked and then walked home together, he's still staying at his mam's house"

"Oh"

"Hey I was calling to make plans again, I'm sorry I kinda left you last night, but we can hang out again-"

"Don't worry 'bout that, you hadn't seen Liam in like 2 years, it's fine"

I took a quick breath "Oh, alright... so you wanna hang out? Whenever really"

"I'm not sure... I mean, I want to yeah" she paused  "but I've gotta start organizing things with Andy... we haven't even picked a date yet..."

"Right, right... mm but if you need help with that you know I'm free"

"Really?"

"Yeah, call me anytime"

"Alright, thanks El"

"You're welcome" I said in that tone. "Well, then see ya when you call"

"Yeah, bye"

"Bye"

After I hung up I took a shower and decided to get breakfast at a cafe or something. I almost never do that but that day I felt like it.

I got dressed and went out, my mum had gone out with her friends for brunch, so I was going to be alone anyways. I went out and walked for a while before stopping at any shop, after like half an hour I went into a cafe I liked and got a coffee, which I drank on my way to the park.

When I got there I just sat down and dove into my thoughts for a while, slowly sipping the coffee. I thought about Liam and Maggie, about what I thought of Andy and about what I was going to do with my life from that point on. It was a lot. I didn't resolve much, but at least I knew my situation well, so I went back home.

On the way there I stopped by the record store and probably picked up about every record in there.

I went home and laid on the floor of my room.

Did I ever actually wanted to be with Liam in that way?

***
Alright, idk if you can tell by now but I unconsciously lost interest in writing this. This was the biggest relief of 2020, all the britpop fandom plus being immersed in this story was amazing.

I'm gonna try to keep writing but I can't promise anything.

It's sad cause all of the actual oasis stuff was gonna happen from now on...

Again, I'm gonna try to continue. So yeah.

Thank you for reading!! :)