This is gonna be a long one. For reference, this is what Frank looks like in this:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This is Gerard:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Ok sry, idk why I felt like I had to show you that, but I did. Also, I got this idea from the song above, you should listen to it, it's pretty damn good.
⚠️POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: BRIEFLY MENTIONED BULLYING, SELF HATE AND INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA⚠️ ————
I'd like to think I'm great. I'm a unique and different individual. But I'm exactly the same as every other gay kid ever. "When'll you get a girlfriend?" Girls don't mean shit to me.
But my best friend since early elementary school, he means something. Something I didn't realize was possible to be felt between two boys, but here we are. I remember the day. Third of December, 7th grade, lightly drizzling, walking to my house from his on Friday night, I was wearing a Sex Pistols short sleeve shirt. Gerard was wearing a plain black long sleeve and his denim jacket with a few pins. He still had his black hair and excess weight.
It never mattered to me what he had looked like, but in the moment, with the light mist of rain falling around his face, dampening his hair, the orange glow of the street lamps casting an aura around his head, his eyes gleaming with three different colors depending on the angle, his naturally perfect eyebrows raised in an arch as he held out his jacket for me, it was like a fucking school bus hit me and I realized I had a fat crush on Gerard Way. I didn't know where these feeling came from, and still don't, but I could barley get a word out. Even when he told me to keep the jacket when I got home. He told me it looked better on me, but no one can look better than Gerard, it's the cruel truth of life.
If you haven't noticed, I'm really fucking gay. For my best friend. Yep. Original. One of a kind. Never seen before. And guess what. He's straight. Wow. Can you believe it? It's not cliche or pathetic at all.
After this revelation, I thought it would pass as quick as it came, but it didn't. It got worse, changing from a small crush to being in love in just a few months. Fast forward to now and it's been nearly three years, Gerard's still straight and I'm still a raging closeted gay. Even to Gerard. It's not that I think he's homophobic, it's that he talks a lot and I worry he might slip up.
