The Marauder's Tale [MOONY, WORMTAIL, PADFOOT, & PRONGS]

XXXVIII. The Awkward Stage

"Wait."

Olivia looked up at James, feeling a bit dazed. All she wanted to do was to stand there and kiss him forever. Why was he pulling away?

"We can't do this. Not like this."

"What do you mean?" Olivia finally found her voice.

James removed his hands from her body, and took a step back. "This isn't right, Liv. We're friends, you know? We can't do this. Besides, I have a girlfriend."

Olivia's face fell. She looked down, not wanting him to see the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Hey," James said. He stepped in closer again, and put his fingers under her chin, forcing her face up so he could meet her eyes. "What's this?"

"James, I meant what I said," Olivia said, her voice catching. "I really do like you. I care about you. I want us to be more than friends."

"But, Liv, I have a girlfriend. I don't think Veronica will be all right with us dating."

Olivia cringed at the sound of the other girl's name. She shook off James' hand, and stepped back from him. "So are you saying that she's more important to you than I am?"

"I'm saying that she's my girlfriend," James said simply. "You know that you're one of my best friends, but there's a difference there, and I can't ignore it."

"So what happened just now, then? Why did you stand here snogging ME rather than your GIRLFRIEND?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me what that was just now! What did it mean to you, James? Was I just a convenient recipient for your desire to kiss someone? You couldn't wait to get all the way up to the castle to find Veronica, and I was right here?"

"Liv, that isn't fair."

"Oh, isn't it? And why not? What's so bloody unfair about an accurate statement?"

"Because it meant more to me that that!" James yelled.

They stared at each other for a moment in stunned silence. Neither of them knew what to say. James reached up to clutch his hair in frustration.

"Shit," he said softly. "Well, now I've really done it."

Olivia stepped closer to him, and put her arms around his neck. "What's wrong with the idea of wanting to kiss me? What's wrong with that kiss meaning something? Because it meant something to me, too, James. And I don't think that's wrong." She reached up to kiss him again.

James drew her close, and kissed her deeply. She pressed her body up against his, and ran her nails along his spine. He pulled back, and looked down at her. "We can't do this, Liv. It's not fair to Veronica, and it's not fair to you. I won't hurt her like that, and I won't hurt you like that. We can't do it, and we won't. I won't let us."

Olivia released him, and stepped away. She could see that he meant what he said. He didn't want to hurt Veronica - or her. "Shall we just go back up to the castle, then?"

"Yes," James said.

They walked all the way to the common room in silence, barely daring to look at one another. James' thoughts and emotions were swirling around like leaves in a stiff breeze. What had just happened? Well, he had kissed Olivia - or she had kissed him - regardless, he had liked it. REALLY liked it. But there was Veronica to consider, and he knew that he didn't want to hurt her.

James gave the password, and stepped aside so Olivia could enter the common room ahead of him. He walked in, and saw Sirius sitting with Remus across the room. They both gave him odd looks - Sirius' face was unreadable, but Remus looked at him with pity. James frowned, and was ready to cross the room to talk to them when Veronica appeared in front of him.