CHAPTER 1
RYDER
Three years ago…
It’s the last weekend before senior year starts. Everyone is going down to the lake for the weekend. I just got off work. I work at the local grocery store to help my dad with money. We live in a small town in Indiana. My dad, me and my twin brother River. Our mom left when we were seven. My dad blames me saying that I was a difficult child. He tells me it’s my fault she left. My brother River now hates me too. My dad would have River tell me I was worthless and I was good for nothing. My dad and River don’t matter because I have two people in my life who do care about me.
Hayes. He’s my best friend and he lives across the street from me. Our houses face each other and if I look out my window I can see his window. There is a tree by Hayes’s window that I climb up and onto the porch roof so I can go into his room through his window. River, Hayes and I use to be inseparable before my mom left. We would get up every day eat breakfast and then play outside all day. When my mom left my dad started drinking more.
My dad didn’t know what to do with us so he would send us outside. Hayes’s mom would feed us lunch and sometimes supper. As more time past and River’s hatred filled he started acting out when we all would be outside playing. He would shove me down, pulling my hair, or kicking me. He started hitting me. He would get me in trouble on purpose.
Thank god for Hayes he stuck up for me and started standing up to River. Hayes would hold my hand and help me off the ground. He would hold me when I cried and would always try to cheer me up. He never cared when I climbed into his window night after night. Sometimes I would be crying but other times I wasn’t. I just needed him. He was the one thing in life I knew I could count on.
Hayes and I added another friend to our group making it a trio. Her name is Olivia (Liv). She lives four houses down from me. She moved in when we were twelve. I talked to her first so technically she’s my best friend. Liv started hanging out with Hayes and I. We were together all the time.
I’m packing my clothes for the weekend when I hear commotion coming through the front door. It’s probably my brother and his friends they’re always here. I come out of my closet and run into my dad. He has a beer in his hand. Great. He’s drunk again. He picks up my bag of the bed. “Where the hell do you think your going?” I try grabbing my bag from his hand but he shoves me backwards knocking me into my dresser.
I’m super pissed now. “To the lake.”
He is right in front of me, too much in my personal space. “No your not.” He tries putting his hand down the front of my shirt.
What the fuck. I start freaking out and swinging my arms. I knock the beer out of his hand and this pisses him off. He brings his fist across my face. Blood is pouring out of my mouth. I hear the door open so I start screaming hoping that if my brother has friends with him then someone will come help me.
It works because Rivers friend Josh yanks my dad off of me throwing him out in the hall. Josh comes back in my room to check on me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah thanks” I shake my head feeling embarrassed.
He shuts the door before he walks over to me. He lifts my chin up, taking his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. He moves his mouth close to mine capturing my lips. I kiss him back for a minute before I push him away. “I can’t do this.”
I look at him again and this time I don’t see concern. I see something dark and I don’t like the way it feels. “You owe me. I’m not leaving here until I get what I want.”
I know what he wants he doesn’t even have to say it. I don’t want this I have to find away to escape. Josh is 6’2 and all muscle. I don’t’ think I could budge him if he pins me down. What am I going to do?
He is not waiting anymore his mouth is on mine again. I try not to open my lips but then his hand went in my hair and started pulling until I opened my mouth. His other hand started groping at my pants I tried pushing back against him but it did no good.
I open my mouth to scream. His hand comes across my face right where my father had hit me. Now he’s pissed. He grabs me forcefully by the elbow throwing me on the bed. He lunges on top of me pinning my legs down. His hand grabs both of my wrists and pins them above my head. I can’t move. His other hand undoes my pants. He forces them down far enough to be able to spread my legs. His pants are around his ankles.
Tears are flowing down my cheeks. I think I’m going to be sick. I’m shaking my head. I want to scream but his face tells me not to. My wrists hurt. My arms are being stretched too much. Instead of pulling my underwear down he pulls them to the side. This gives him enough room to slide inside. He doesn’t even put a condom on. Fuck!
It’s rough and quick. He pulls out, pulls his pants up and walks out of my door. He didn’t even bother to shut it. I HATE THIS HOUSE!!! I get up grab a towel and wipe myself off. I slam my door and change my clothes. I finish packing my bag and sneak out of my window. My room is upstairs but my window has lattice on the house under it so I climb up and down it carefully.
I run to the road where my car is. I throw my stuff in and head to the lake. Even though my afternoon has sucked I’m excited to see Hayes. He will make me feel better. Plus I’m going to tell him that I’m in love with him.
Hayes’s is my best friend but I know I have been in love with him for a long time. I’m ready to tell him. I haven’t even told Liv that I’m going to tell him. Liv has always known that he was off limits. She knew I thought he was cute but we were all friends. You don’t break the friend code.
I park my car next to Hayes’s. We were all coming here alone. None of us are dating anyone right now. Liv and Hayes came out earlier today. They were going to wait for me to get off work so we could all come together but I told them go ahead. There are a lot of cars here already. It’s a short walk through the woods from where we park to the lake.
When I’m at the edge of the woods I spot Hayes. I’m excited to see him. I almost take off running right there. I see him lean close to the girl sitting next to him. She’s laughing and touching his leg. Wait do I know her? Finally it registers that it’s Liv. I see Hayes lean over and kiss her. What? No he can’t be.
My eyes are blurry with my unshed tears. I back up until I’m far enough away I can turn around and run. I fly past some girls I know. They try to ask if I’m okay but I just kept running to my car. The tears are now down my cheeks. I throw the car in drive and get out of there.
I end up going back home. I climb up the lattice and decide that this is it. I’m tired of everyone’s stuff. I’m done. I find my other duffle bag and I start stuffing it full of clothes. I grab my pictures of Hayes and me, even the ones with Olivia. I pick up a few other personal things and some of my jewelry. I toss my bag out the window before I climb down.
I hop in my car and drive. I only stop occasionally to rest, eat, or get gas. Hayes and Olivia did try texting me a few times but not my brother or dad. Once I get to Las Vegas I toss my phone. It’s time I got rid of my old life and start a new one.
