Just An Ordinary Girl

Chapter Six

I walk slowly to Mikeys room,thinking about a thousand things I can ask him,like whats going on in that mind of yours?how did you know?what's wrong with you?

Agh too many questions.

I shake my head when I reach his door.

You can do this,you need to.

I tell myself.

I open the door and there Mikey is sitting up on his bed staring into space,like a lost soul trying to find it's way in the world.

"Mikey?" I say softly.

No reply.

I close the door and fight back the tears as I sit on the side of his bed.

I stroke his thick black hair and he moves slightly.

"Go away." He says.

I feel slightly hurt but by all means,i'm not leaving.

"Im not going anywhere Mikey,i'm staying right here,I just wanna know why...why did you do that to yourself?"

I ask so sympathetically.He turns to look at me and I see the sadness in his eyes,the dark circles under his eye and that innocence of his.

"I'm different from other boys ok,I'm not like the others. " he says.

"Different in what way Mikey?" I ask,so confused.

"You'll hate me." He says and turns away.

I pull him towards me.

"I can never hate you Mikey,you drive me insane sometimes but I love you even more for that and when you tried to take your own life it nearly killed me because I can't imagine a life without my brother,without you,I can't,I just can't,"

I pour out my heart to Mikey followed by what seems to be a continuous waterfall of tears.

Mikey turns to look at me and I can see the tears dropping from his eyes.

"I thought that if I cut myself I would start liking girls because I want to be normal like how other boys In my class kiss girls and tell everyone in class.I want to be a boy that kisses and tells,i want to be normal Leah." He says.

I want to be normal.

I want to like girls.

These two sentences are stuck in my head,I am so confused.

Actually,I'm not confused,I know where this is going and I don't think I'm ready.

"W what do you uhm mean?" I ask,my voice cracking.

"I like boys Leah."

I think I may be dreaming.

Yep I am.

And then Mikey squeezes my hand and reality hits me,this is no dream,this is real.

I try not to break down in front of him but I do,I can't control my tears.

I hug Mikey as tight as I can and we stay like this for several minutes.

He lets go and he looks up at me with those big eyes of his.

"Are you angry at me Leah?" He asks.

I wipe away the tears from his eyes,

"Yes and no,yes because I wish you told me this sooner,I could have helped you Mikey and no because I love you no matter what you choose to be,you will always be my best friend,after knowing this nothing changes,you still the same Mikey I love and adore okay?" I say.

This is the most I've expressed my feelings,I never ever express my feelings out loud.

"I'm sorry Leah,I love you too." He says.

I stay with him for a while,he doses off to sleep and I think,life is full of unexpected moments,we never know what's coming next.

And with this thought,I fall asleep holding Mikey In my arms as if I don't want him to ever leave my side.