Fated

CHAPTER II

Elise

I lay on my bed, staring blankly to my phone.

Naghihintay ako ng reply nya.

I waited and waited until nakatulog na ko, naalimpungatan lang ako ng may narinig akong may nag picture. 

Louise took a picture with me while I was asleep holding my phone and waiting for John’s reply - my phone wallpaper was John kaya halatang halata.

We laughed and then she go back talking to James – her suitor on her phone. 

I envy her.

Sana masaya din ako with my lovelife.

I look at my phone again and still no reply.

I just open my social media accounts and I found something saying na I should chose happiness. 

Binuksan ko ang conversation naming ni John and without thinking twice I chatted him.

"I need space”. 

I stand up.

Nagpaalam ako kay gab na sa labas lang ako ng room namin. I go straight to the rooftop and John reply to me. 

“Anong space? ”

“Napipikon ako” galit ba sya kasi ayaw nya ko mawala?

I read his reply and told him na I need space because everything is too much for me.

Our relationship, my grandfather’s condition, and my summer classes.

But then he block me. Wow.

I tried to call his number pero pinapatay nya, I tried again but I can’t reach him.

I cry, again, silently and wait for his chats but that didn’t happen.

Kinabukasan July 03, 2019

Sobrang lutang ko.

Wala akong pinagsabihan ng nangyari and I tried to act normal. Nagreready na uli kami umuwi nang biglang nagchat si John.

God knows how happy I was until I read his chat.

He’s breaking up with me. This is not what I wanted.

All I want is space but I don’t want to lose him.

I beg him, trying so hard to change his mind, and I didn’t realize na nakauwi na pala kami sa dorm.

Nagpaalam uli ako kau Louise na lalabas ako ng room and pumunta uli ako sa rooftop.

I can’t hold back anymore.

I cry as hard as I can, begging him to change his mind until I remember, may babae syang nakakusap tuwing wala ako.

I confronted him about her, pero sabi nya nagtanong lang daw.

I believe him, because I love him.

Nagbulag-bulagan ako.

“Si joyce ba” I chatted him “Siya na ba? Kaya ayaw mo na?”

Seen 6:54 pm

 I broke down alam kong tama ako.

He denied it but I know him.

Babaero sya, Akala ko nagbago na sya for me but I was so stupid to believe that. 

“Ayaw mo na ba talaga?” I asked for the last time

“Ayoko na” He said na parang di man lang pinagisipan

“I love you, goodbye” I chat him 

Seen 7:20 pm

I block him. I was so stupid.

I know this day would come but it still hurts.

I try to calm myself, as I cry my heart out here in our dormitory rooftop. 

He broke up with me.

All I want is space for all of this shit. Why did he do this? 

Saan ako nagkulang? Minahal ko naman sya ng sobra eh, kahit ang daming kontra, pinaglaban ko sya, even with my parents.

As I calm down, I make my way to our room, there I found Louise.

“Wala na kami” and I go straight to my bed and cry again.

I heard her asking what happen but I don’t have enough energy, I just cry until I fall asleep.

I told my friends about this, and galit sila and all of them say “sabi sayo”. 

I know I am stupid for choosing him.