WHAT IF...

1

Episode 4x04

Maya is having a shower still thinking about the call. 'Babies don't fly out of a vagina'... That's what Carina had told her the day Pru was born.

While she rinse the shampoo off her short blonde hair she thinks about that family... Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs... Why bringing a baby into this terrifying world if you don't want to give him/her love? Why people even want babies?

She never thought about herself as a mother. She loves Pru and Warren's kids, but she never thought of being a mother. She could be the badass auntie, not the mother.

Her mind keeps wandering why she's thinking about these things...

She comes out of the bathroom and finds Carina sitting of the bed ready to go to work. Maya sits by her side and looks at her in the eyes. Suddenly her head stops spinning and she can't help but smile. She cups the brunette's cheek and kisses the other cheek.

"I thought this was going elsewhere"

"well, I'm naked and in bed... but my head's spinning and I..."

"hey, love. It's fine. I need to go to work in ten minutes anyway. So, will you tell me about the delivery?"

"oh, yes... well, the mom was having contraction and we wanted to take her to the hospital but her waters broke. I asked not to push, but she did and the baby flew out of her vagina... so basically I just caught the baby before she fell on the floor"

"you're amazing, baby"

Carina kisses her lips gently... she's a proud girlfriend.

"what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" the brunette asks

"I... I don't know... I mean... I think I need to process my thoughts a little bit before talking about them. I don't want to say the wrong things and scare you away"

"ok, amore. Listen, if you need time to process, it's fine. We will talk later. But you can't keep everything inside of you... I know something is bothering you and you can't hide that from me"

"I guess you're right... but I need to think. I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying that... you don't need to apologize. I'm here whenever you want, ok?"

"yes, babe. Understood. I love you"

"I love you too. now, baciami, I need to go"

They both stand up and Carina pushes Maya against the wall kissing her passionately. She opens her robe and leaves some kisses on her collarbone "we're not done with this... bye" she opens the door and leaves. Maya closes her eyes and smiles, leaning on the door... she's so happy with Carina

Later, Andy gets home and finds Maya in the kitchen holding a shaker and facing the wall

"Hello?! Is there someone in here?" Andy asks

"Hey"

"whooooaaaa you look so lost! Did you and Carina fight?!"

"Oh, no. I was just thinking while drinking my shake"

"Is this about the conversation we had earlier?"

"ehm... yeah?! Well... not exactly. I don't know..."

"well, you are lost then... let me take a shower and then we will talk"

15 minutes later Andy goes back to the kitchen but sees that Maya has moved to the couch. She's laying down with the shaker on her lap, staring at the air above her.