It Doesn't Matter Anymore

Jason closed his eyes, focusing on the cloud of energy at his core that represented his powers, trying to channel as much energy as possible.

It had been just a few times in his life that Jason had accumulated so much energy. In battle on Mount Othrys, when he and Percy made that big storm, and a few times after that. He knew he was capable of much more than he had ever done with his powers, he felt his powers pulsating, willing to be exploited, but he'd never wanted to go far ahead than already empty, afraid of hurting someone or causing a catastrophe like many other children of the big three.

He was afraid of what he might do if he used his potential full powers, such as when he was seven years old and seriously injured two older demigods who were bullying him at Camp Jupiter when he became angry and afraid of them, summoning lightning for the first time. Jason still remembered watching the boys scream in pain and promised himself never to exploit his powers beyond what he already knew, such as flying and summoning rays.

He had not done so well in this, there were situations that his powers were activated by his emotions, as in the war on Mount Othrys, he had summoned a storm because of all the adrenaline and all the strong emotions he was feeling, but he never instigated his powers on purpose. He didn't want to be powerful, he just wanted to be Jason, an insignificant kid, a kid where people didn't put high expectations, a kid who could be himself.

But this time Jason had to do something, he was the only one who could save them. Apollo and Piper were trapped in the center of the room by Caligula and Medea, and Meg was trapped in a wind prison, just like Jason. No one else could get them out of this, so Jason was in a relaxed posture, concentrating on his powers while the shrapnel of heavenly bronze and imperial gold spin like a blender around him, hitting him repeatedly, making numerous cuts of varying sizes across his body, tearing his clothes, and causing him to bleed. Meg didn't look much better and struggled angrily in her tornado, she was also full of cuts, blood dripping from all sides.

Jason thinks of the prophecy given to him so long before, how he or Piper would die if they helped Apollo, and from the second he heard it, Jason knew it would be him, because he couldn't let Piper die, even if she'd left him devastated when he broke up with him.

Honestly, Jason didn't know how to handle their breakup. He understood why Piper had ended up with him, this relationship began with false memories about Jason placed in Piper's head, and he felt compelled to do everything to compare himself to Jason from Piper's memories, the Jason Piper really loved, not him.

Piper loved a different version of Jason, which wasn't him, and it made him feel sad because he liked Piper, maybe didn't love her, but he knew he could get there one day, Piper was amazing.

But their relationship was over, and when Jason asked Chiron for help in selecting a boarding school for him, Jason wanted to give Piper some space and focus on his life for the first time, without the expectations of others pressuring him.

Jason felt more relieved that he was no longer dating Piper, he felt stressed and pressured with her, even though he only realized it after they separated, and he went to boarding school.

But Piper and Jason were still friends and Jason still liked her very much, but not in the same way as before, his feelings for Piper were now the same as he felt for Reyna, he considered them sisters. Maybe he was so committed to being what Piper wanted him to be, that confused his feelings as they developed.

But it didn't matter anymore, because he'd die tonight and he was fine with it, he settled for its weeks ago, and everything was fine. He never told anyone why he didn't feel the need. Because they would try to stop it if they knew, and Jason couldn't let that happen, Piper couldn't die, and he wouldn't mind taking her place.