Addicted

Chapter 34.

I loved the feeling of his hands on me. The feeling of our skin to skin contact made me so happy in a way that no number of drugs or alcohol could ever compare to. He scrubbed my body with my vanilla and lavender soap, letting his hands linger over all of my sensitive spots and each time, my body would shiver. I don't know if it was the alcohol but every time he touched me, I felt as if all of my senses were heightened.

He told me to turn around and began washing my hair, really allowing his fingers to massage my scalp and I hummed my appreciation. There wasn't a lot of hair to wash anymore, which somehow made me sad because there was less time for him to wash it. Once he was done, I turned towards him, watching him now wash himself. I wanted to help him, but I was afraid too and too drunk to even wash myself. Instead, I let my hands stay on his hips and I would lean forward and his chest, or his shoulder, or his hand, each time watching him shiver in response.

I looked up at him, once he was done and he tries to smile at me, but it looks sad.

"Do you like my hair?" I ask him.

He nods his head. He has both of his hands cupping my face.

"Really?" I ask him. I know it was shorter than anyone would have expected.

"I think you look beautiful, Angel," he says and his thumbs trace over my cheek and I close my eyes to appreciate the sensation more. "Where you trying to punish yourself?" he asks and before I could answer I suddenly feel very nauseous.

"I don't feel so good."

"No, I don't think you would." He leans down and plants a soft kiss on my forehead. "Come on."

He helps me out of the shower and using the leftover towels in the bathroom we dry ourselves. Zac gets out of his boxer shorts and replaces them by wrapping his towel around his waist. I was tempted to pull the towel off of him, but my brain couldn't process anything.

He dried me completely, only towel drying my hair and leaving it hanging out.

He helps me brush my teeth and brushes my hair off of my face.

"Come one, Angel," he says and takes my hand and leads me out of the bathroom. He takes me to my bedroom and dresses me in a pair of warm flannel PJ's that were in my draw and then takes me to the kitchen.

"What- what are we doing?"

"I'm making you toast," he declares, and he helps me sit down at the table and I rest low on the seat. I turn my body in the seat so I was facing him and rested my head on the back of the seat. He was so graceful. He knew where everything was and made me toast with butter and sat it on a plate in front of me.

"I need to get dressed, because I'm freezing, I'll be right back," he leans down and kisses my cheek. It was only then that I noticed he was shivering a little. "Eat up," he says and walks away.

I slowly pull apart the toast and cringe when the toast hits my tongue. Eating was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

But the thought of Zac making this especially for me, made me force the food down my throat.

Zac came back, now unfortunately dressed. He wore his grey sweatpants and a long-sleeved black top, and I couldn't help bite my lip from how great he looks.

"I like these pants," I say and let my hand wander up and down his thigh.
"I know," he says and smiles down at me. He looks at my shredded-up pieces of toasts. "Good girl, keep eating."

There was this nagging feeling in my head that told me that I was meant to hate him right now, but I still couldn't place the reasoning as to why. I loved him so much and every time he touched me, I felt as if I was home. I had never felt like this towards anyone before in my entire life and every time I thought about it, I wanted to burst into tears and hide underneath my covers.

"Can't you take me to bed now?" I ask him.

"Not until you eat it all," he says and taps my plate. I was only a couple bites from finishing so I continued, forcing myself to chew and swallow each and every bit, in the hopes that once I was done, he would sleep with me.

"Done!" I cheer and smile like a child at him, proud for some reason and he chuckles.

"Good girl," he says. He takes my plate, and walks into the kitchen and I follow him, only one step behind him. He must have sensed my presence, because when he places the plate in the sink, I stood close behind him and he pauses with his hands resting on the sink edge.

I wrap my arms around him, enjoying his warmth and pressing his back against my chest. I kiss his shoulder blades and made a trail of kisses across his back and I could hear him sigh. I loosen my grip around him, and he turns around facing me and I keep my hands on his hips. He was so close to me that I could smell his minty breath and feel it on my face.

"I want to you to kiss me," I say, and I tilt my head up. "Please," I continue.

His face seems to be fighting some internal battle, but he leans down, cupping my cheeks and places a feather light kiss on my lips. He lingers his lips over mine and plants another kissed, sucking my bottom lip lightly. It was a gentle kiss. One of the gentlest kisses he has ever given me. The sire inside of me ignited and I was desperate to deepen the kiss to ignite the flame further inside, but what we were doing was so slow and gentle that I was afraid to do anything else. There was so much feeling in the way he was kissing me, he was only moving slowly, letting me feel and appreciate every movement.

There was so much feeling in this kiss that before I realised, there was the usual pinching feeling in my face and tears began to over spill down my cheeks and I struggled to catch my breath.

"What's wrong?" he asks, pulling back and looking at me with concerned eyes. He bends down slightly so he can get a better view of my face.

"I just feel for you so much," I say in an almost whisper, so afraid to confess anything of my feeling of fear of rejection. He brushes the tears off of my face and lets his thumb continue to trail back and forth on my cheek. I watch his eyebrows connect together in the middle of his forehead as if he is in pain.

"I feel for you too," he responds in the same almost whisper he tilts his head down again and kisses me in that feather light kiss I have grown so accustomed to now.

"Take me to bed and sleep with me please," I tell him, and he leads me to my bedroom, holding my hand firmly in his.

"I can't sleep as well without you," I confess.

"I know, I'm the same, Angel."

"I like it when you call me Angel," I say, and he leans down and kisses me in response and I am overwhelmed by how addicted I truly was to him and the way he holds me. We were instantly drawn to each other as soon as we got inside the bed covers and I wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his chest and drifting off to a short dreamless sleep.