How to be Cool

Lesson #24: Scott is an Idiot

A/N: SMUT WARNING! (it's like, towards the middle/end)

As I sat in the nurse's office with an ice pack on my nose, Derek wouldn't stop staring at me. The nurse tried to question us about what happened, but I didn't want to get anyone into trouble, so I claimed I tripped and fell. She didn't act like she bought it, but she didn't say anything else before she left the room, leaving Derek and I alone. I had a pretty good idea of where she ran off to. It was clear I had been in a fight, even if I did tell her a lie. She had to be talking to the principal at this point. But, while she was off doing that, Derek was sitting across from me staring into my soul. I was looking at the floor, but every once in awhile, I would glance up and he would still be staring. He wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was staring, either. 

"What are you looking at?" I grumbled, my nose still aching. The bleeding had stopped, but it hurt a lot more now than when it happened. 

"I'm worried about you," he answered instantly, getting up from his chair to move closer to me. I watched him walk closer, until he was kneeling on the ground in front of me as I sat on the bed. I stared down at him as he rested his arms on my knees. "This is my fault. I should have told people that we were together sooner. If Jackson knew we were together, he never would have touched you."

I lowered the ice pack from my face, setting it beside me as I covered his hands with mine. "This wasn't your fault. He thought I was flirting with Danny. I guess they're together. He said I tried to steal Lydia from him first, and now he thinks I'm trying to steal Danny. As if they belong to him, or whatever. He's an asshole. It wouldn't have mattered what you told people, he still would have hurt me." Jackson knew Derek and I were more than friends, I thought. I remembered that day in the locker room, before Derek and I were together, before I admitted my feelings for him. Derek had gotten angry with Jackson for flirting with me. I didn't think he was flirting then, but now I knew he was. Jackson had to have known there was something between Derek and I then. 

"I still feel responsible," he sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist as he wedged himself between my legs. He rested his head against my chest and waited until I hugged him back. "I'm sorry I didn't keep my word. I said we could come out and then I avoided it until you got hurt."

I ran my fingers through his hair, kissing the top of his head despite the throbbing pain in my face. "It's okay. You were scared," I replied, trying to be understanding. I was upset before, but now I realized it wasn't because of me that he was putting it off. He was just scared of being himself. I wasn't going to push him. 

"I could have killed Jackson for what he did to you," he mumbled, squeezing me tighter, as if I might slip away if he let go. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile. I loved how protective he was. It made me feel much safer. "I feel like I shouldn't let you out of my sight anymore."

"That's not possible, we have different classes," I teased, prying his arms from my waist. I gestured for him to sit beside me, so we were on the same level. He slowly moved to the spot next to me on the bed, turning to face me as we talked. "Just so we have everything out in the open. . . you're not embarrassed of me, are you?" I wondered, just because I had to know. 

Derek frowned, tracing his thumb over my cheek as he looked at me, shaking his head. "Of course not," he promised. "The only reason I avoided you and telling people about us is because of me, not you. I've known I was gay since before middle school. Back then, the word 'gay' was used as an insult. I couldn't be myself then, and until I met you, I never dreamt I would be able to be myself ever. I didn't realize I would find someone who would make me want to risk it all. I was just afraid that the same people who used my sexuality as an insult in middle school would make my life a living hell today."