How to be Cool

Lesson #19: People Always Lie

A/N: Sorry for this lol  I know I'm a bitch

As I walked into school the next day and was approached by my best friend, I came to the realization that he had no idea what was going on in my life. The last he knew, I was still going after Lydia, and that was a couple of weeks ago. I guess I had gotten so wrapped up in getting Derek to like me back, I forgot that Scott needed to be in the loop too. 

"Dude, we haven't talked in days," Scott sighed, grabbing my arm as we walked down the hallway. "Where have you been?"

I needed to rip the band aid off, so I decided to just jump right in, hoping he wouldn't be angry with me for taking so long to tell him. "So. . . I kissed Derek," I admitted, glancing at him to see his reaction. "And Lydia helped me gain the courage to do it."

"Wait," he mumbled, shaking his head as he processed what I had told him. "You don't like Lydia anymore, and now you and Derek are. . . what, together?" He didn't seem angry, just confused. This was something I could work with. 

"Undetermined," I sighed, earning me a look of pity from my bestfriend. "I kissed him, he told me he wanted to take things slow, and then I think he was trying to tell me something before my dad called and interrupted." 

"What do you think he was trying to tell you?" Scott asked, taking this all surprisingly well. I thought for sure he'd be angry I didn't tell him sooner, but he was more concerned about my relationship than my lack of communication. "Did he even break up with Brett?" Scott wondered, after I took too long to answer. 

"He said he broke things off with Brett because he liked me," I explained, trying to keep my voice down so people passing us in the hall didn't hear too much. "When he said he had something to tell me, he seemed pretty serious. I don't want to assume anything, but it was important."

Scott nodded, taking in the information. "So, what are you gonna do now?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Just talk to him, I guess." There was nothing else for me to do. If Derek really planned on saying those words. . . those three words that meant no turning back, I wasn't sure how to respond. I had never been in love before. Was that what this was? Did I love Derek, or was it something else? Was it too soon to tell? I had no idea. I could only hope Derek wasn't going to tell me that yet because I had no idea what I would say back to him. 

"Well good luck with that, dude," Scott sighed, as if it would be harder than I thought to talk to Derek about my feelings. Maybe he was right. Maybe we shouldn't talk about it. "Hey, I'll see you at lunch. I gotta get to class. Keep me updated on the Derek situation, okay?" 

"I will," I promised, waving him off as we parted ways to get to class. 

As usual, classes were boring and the day passed slowly. I didn't see Derek much, and when I did, it was only in passing and we didn't have time to talk. At lunch, Scott didn't get to ask about the situation because Isaac and Allison ate with us and they didn't know, nor did I want them to know yet. 

After school, I had lacrosse practice. We had a game coming up on Friday, so coach had been pushing us pretty hard at practice. I was at my locker, gathering my things before I had to make my way over to the locker room, when Derek finally decided to talk to me. I saw his shoes when he approached my locker, so I quickly grabbed my bag and slammed the door to meet his eyes.