Loser II || WlW

Twenty-Six

     I'm staring at their cabin through the window, watching for any movement from inside. I don't even notice when Zachary's girlfriend makes her way into the kitchen until she clears her throat.

I jump, spill half my coffee down the front of my sweater.

"Shit," I mutter as I grab a handful of paper towels.

"Didn't mean to scare you," she mumbles.

I glance at her, continue dabbing at the coffee.

"Saw you take a fall last night." She takes a cautious step forward. "You feeling any better this morning?"

My jaw clenches. How much has Zachary told her? Does she know I faint when I get too stressed? Does she know all my weaknesses? "What do you want?" I snap. My eyes are trained on the dark spots of coffee against my sweater, but I don't care if it comes out. I just can't look at her. I can't look into those brown eyes behind her glasses knowing she's been talking with my brother for the past six months; helping him through his tough times and celebrating with him over his small victories while I was ignoring letter after letter.

She opens her mouth to say something, closes it. "Maybe we got off on the wrong foot." She extends a hand to me. "I'm Chrissy."

I stare at her chubby fingers, wait for her to take the hint, and pull away.

Why is everyone pretending like this is normal?

"Zach mentioned you might be a little frustrated with our arrival," she nods, folds her hands together, and holds them close to her body. "It's okay. I understand. It's a lot to process."

I raise an eyebrow at her, take a sip of my coffee. Play it cool. Don't let them know they're getting under your skin.

Her smile wavers. "Anyway, I just thought—"

"Why isn't Zachary the one talking to me right now?"

The silence is heavy.

I shrug. "He's been trying to get in touch with me for months. Now he has me trapped and what? He's just going to sit in the cabin all week?"

Chrissy balls her hands into fists. "Trapped?" She glances around the room and moves closer before she whispers, "Zach had to bribe his probation officer to be here. He was so worried after you called him... All he would talk about is how his little sister was in danger and this is how you respond?"

I let out a disbelieving laugh. "You're joking, right?" I wait for a response, but she only stares at me. "Are you just going to pretend like he didn't murder my dad?"

"Oh, Jordan." She laughs as she wags her head back and forth. "I thought you out of all people would be able to comprehend that accidents happen." The corner of her mouth twists into a knowing smile as she leans against the kitchen counter. "Maybe Zachary thought he was just... defending himself?"

My fingers tighten around my mug. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugs. "What do you think it's supposed to mean?"

I don't respond, only glare at her while she maintains her giddy smile.

"I suppose it would mean something different for everyone," she starts. "I," she holds a hand to her chest, "have never taken someone's life out of fear." She giggles. "But I'm assuming that it would feel pretty awful... Knowing I took the life of someone when I didn't really have to. Not fully understanding what was going on in the moment because I was in the wrong mental state." She clicks her tongue. "Knowing I could have prevented so much grief."