Just a feeling

Heartbroken already?

I smell the fresh air of California as we first land, palm tree's and beach's, the sun was shinning& for once, I was happy, but once happy, life has to ruin it all. Me& my family arrive to our new home, this is all too new, but I'm so excited to feel free once again, to surf in the warm, blue waves. Back in NYC, I was known as the "ladies man" what can I say, I'm quite the charmer. •••I sit down with my mother, she looks broken, I hold her hand as I slowly lift her face& softly say "mom", she looks up at me with no intention of talking, with a tired and stressed face as she tiredly says "what jake?" I look her deep in her eyes& say "why aren't you ever smiling anymore?" She looks at me as I see her eyes slowly watering, a tear falls from her eye& I wipe it away in sadness, she holds my face as tears keep falling down to her lips& says "the world is a hurtful place and once in it for too long, it will destroy you." I slowly put down my head, feeling like I always make things harder for her. "Mom, if you have no intention of starting fresh& being happy, then why the hell are we in this damn state? Why did you make us move, if life is gonna keep tearing you down, it's almost like you don't even try anymore!" I walk away in anger& confusion, I'm so angry at my mother& I don't want to be. She yells back at me "Jake, shut up, you'll never understand my life, you never have" My mom slams the door as she walks out, I know where she's going, time for her to get drunk again. I walk up to my room, close my door, dig my face deeply into my pillow& I cry.