Les Misérables | Regulus A. Black [1]

Chapter Fifty-Nine

[Chapter Fifty-Nine]

The toughest part wasn't even over yet and already, Éponine was filled with the feeling of defeat. She scolded herself for being so foolish, believing what Emmarentia had told her the night before. How many times was she supposed to put her trust in a person that had only lived with the purpose of tricking her? And yet, she was thankful to discover the truth, no matter how much it hurt. Losing Emmarentia as a friend didn't hurt as much as watching Regulus walk away from her. She didn't call him a coward, but she did see the fear in his eyes when they were talking earlier. He was scared to believe anything outside of what his parents had told him.

She hadn't even approached her parents yet to tell them that she was no longer going to follow in their outdated footsteps. And she was sure, by the end of the evening, Walburga and Orion would be notified that their potential future daughter-in-law was now an official blood-traitor. Regulus had heard it with his own ears and there were plenty of witnesses to confirm what she said.

Leaving the Slytherin Common Room, Éponine had never felt so alone in her life. Even before, when her peers hardly even glanced at her, she didn't feel as alone. Emmarentia had filled her head with the idea that if she dared to tell the truth about she felt, she would be met with support. The lies of finding a place together outside of Hogwarts and having each other, had quickly been replaced with fear. Emmarentia liked to carry the air that she a confident goddess but she was nothing more than a false idol.

It was her backbone that was on the floor now, not Éponine's.

And as much as Éponine had offered her support to Regulus when he was unsure of himself, he couldn't do the same for her. Instead, he didn't even try to listen to her reasoning, he only turned his back on her.  Truth be told, she wasn't expecting Avery and Mulciber to take her side either, because they only followed what Regulus did, but the fact that they wouldn't even look at her, hurt just the same.

In a matter of minutes, Éponine Rosier had lost everything.

In the back of her mind, she knew she had potential to be left alone, but part of her prayed that it wouldn't be the case. She hoped that Regulus would be able to see the light just as she had done and decided to turn things around. But she was wrong, so damn wrong.

Settling in one of the window seats in a corridor, Éponine desperately tried to keep her composure. She didn't want to cry in front of anyone, she was tired of crying because it never changed anything. All it did was leave her with tear-stained cheeks, bloodshot eyes, and a headache.

Blood-traitor. They had wasted no time in labelling her as such, and of course, they were right. She was a traitor but for the first time, being a traitor sounded like a good thing. However, she thought about everything that she would have to face. Eventually, she was going to have to return to the dorms and see Emmarentia's face. And Regulus was in the Slytherin House and a prefect, she couldn't avoid him either. She would still see Avery and Mulciber in the Common Room and in classes.

And then when it came to the summer, she had no idea what she going to do. She had nowhere to turn. If she attempted to turn home, her parents would more than likely punish her for bringing shame to the family name and then they would try to convince her that she was wrong. She couldn't return to the Grimmauld Place either, she would never be welcomed there again. And even if she did "come to her senses" more than likely she had tarnished her reputation among the Sacred Twenty-Eight, no one would want to arrange a marriage with her.

That thought alone brought a small smile to her face. It was that little bit of freedom, knowing she would be able to marry or not marry if she so chose.

But the smile faded when Éponine realised, she had absolutely nowhere to live. Who was going to open up their home to her?

Sirius made it clear that he didn't trust her, so why would anyone else? She had gotten into arguments with Lily and Remus, only proving her ignorance before.

No one was going to be willing to help her.

Or so she thought.

Wiping back a few stray tears, Éponine sniffled and thought about approaching Professor Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall as she originally planned. She hoped they would be able to form some solution for her. But as she looked up, she nearly jumped out of her seat when she saw Sirius sitting across from her.

He didn't have his wand drawn, which was a good sign, maybe he wasn't there to hex the hell out of her after the way she spoke to him in the Hospital Wing. She didn't say anything to him though, only watching him quietly.

"Not as easy as you thought it would be, is it?" he finally asked her before looking over.

Éponine shook her head. "I thought...I thought it would be different. I thought....he would listen to me. But that was stupid of me, I guess. After all, if he didn't listen to you, why would he listen to me?"

"Well, you're a lot better at getting your thoughts across than I am," Sirius said with a strained chuckle. "I've never been one to get my point across very well. What did you tell him?"

"Everything,"Éponine replied. "I told him that I didn't want to follow Toujours Pur anymore. I told him that we were wrong to follow it in the first place. He told me I was wrong and that was after he believed that you did something to me to make me say it. I think it's safe to say that he hates me now."

"No, he doesn't hate you," Sirius reassured her. It was the softest he had ever spoken to her in all the years they had known each other. " I don't even think he hates me. He just hates that he can't have his cake and eat it too. He'll want you back after he's done licking his wounds, but he won't do what he needs to in order to get you back. He'll just expect you to come back. That's what they all expect and when they don't get it, it drives them mad. He'll get angry...but he'll never hate you. Regulus doesn't have the heart to hate people."

"I don't want to lose him," she whispered, "I think I love him."

Sirius peered over at her, seemingly surprised at her little confession. "You think?"

"Well, I do love him, but I can't keep loving him if he continues to support everything I'm against now. Yet, I don't ever think I'll bring myself to hate him either. Even though my parents have treated me horribly, I know I still love them. Even if they don't love me now, I can't bring myself to hate them either. If I tried, I'll only remember the good memories we've shared."

"Yeah," he said, " that's the worst part. The good memories. No matter how bad it gets sometimes, the good memories are always there to make you doubt yourself some days. I know all the bad things that my parents said to me, but I still remember the good memories, even if I don't want to. But I have to remind myself that doing a few good things doesn't outweigh doing numerous bad things."

Éponine nodded her head before turning her body to face Sirius. " But..do you think there's still a chance to save him? Can we save Regulus?"

He looked to be on the verge of his tears, his eyes resembling grey puddles as they watered.

"If he's not willing to listen to us, the only person who can save Regulus is himself."

It wasn't the answer that either one of them wanted to acknowledge, but it was the truth. If Regulus wasn't willing to listen, there was little they could do.

"So...what happens now? It won't be long before Walburga and Orion find out, then my parents more than likely if I don't write to them first.  They're all going to disown me."

Suddenly, Sirius stood up and Éponine flinched before she realised that he was extending his hand out for her to take. She sat still for a few seconds longer, a confused, yet curious expression on her face.

"Come on, take it."

"Where are we going?" she asked as she reached out to grab his hand. She was quickly pulled up to her feet and Sirius didn't let go of her hand as he started leading her down the corridor.

"It's time to start over, Éponine."