A/N: hey babes i should have clarified that the first chapter was basically the prequel sorry! Enjoy😼
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It's been about 3 years since you've been hanging around your boys, they gave you the decision to either stay with them or go back to your family and you decided to stay with them. "Y/N?" Sam had knocked on your bedside table which you woke up chuckling at because of your running joke of you always complaining about having no privacy. "What time is it jesus, is it still dark outside?" You groaned looking up at Sam's perfect facial features. " Yep it's your birthday so you and I are celebrating". "Well are Cas and Dean even awake yet" you said a little bit louder looking around seeing them still passed out. " no it's just you and me for a couple hours" Sam whispered with a goofy smile. You could have swore that the last time you saw him smile was when you two spoke for the first time. " what are you just gonna keep looking at me like I have something on my face or are you gonna get ready? Oh! By the way wear the dress I packed for you today." You looked at him confused but did it anyway, you loved him you'd do anything for him. You got up and got dressed, did your morning brooding over your coffee, surprisingly did your makeup for the first time in a hot minute. As you were admiring how well the dress fit your curves Sam came up behind you and bent down next to your ear and whispered " I'm glad I'm the one that can make you feel this good with just one look." Your heart fluttered just like your stomach and for a moment you started backing into him all because of the warmth he radiated, just the sound of his voice made you feel like you were the only ones in the world, once you realized what you were doing you calmed yourself down almost instantly, turned around, looked up at him craning your neck and said " so am I". You were astounded at the fact that you said that to him. It felt so good hearing those words come from him and you saying those kinds of things back but as soon as you finished your sentence you looked over at dean. Your heart hurt because of how calm he was when he was sleeping, ' how in the hell did I fall for both of these men in just a few months ' you thought. " Are you ready to go y/n?" Sam said as he looked at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes know you had to say yes. " Yes I've been ready you're the one doing your hair 100% of the time" you chuckled at him as you two walked out the door.
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As you glanced over at Sam he glanced back at you he kept his goofy smile on his face the whole time. The car had been silent most of the way so you decided to speak. " S-so where are we going?" The words had basically stumbled out of your mouth and for no reason at all, it was just his presence that made you feel this way. " well that's a surprise y/n I can't ruin your birthday like that." " well what time is it at least?" You looked up at him rubbing your eyes wanting to never look away from him.
" it's about 4:00 am , I know it's early but I found the perfect place" His face was riddled with happiness which wasn't normal for him all he did was look worried. " okay fine do you care if I take a nap before we get there?"you said while covering up with his discarded jacket grabbing it from the backseat. " go right ahead we'll be there in about an hour" he smiled at you so sweetly, that's all he could do this morning just smile at you. For the remainder of the drive you got about 10 minutes of sleep, you just couldn't stop thinking about that moment in front of the mirror " I'm glad I can make you feel this good with just one look" like where did that come from? Why would he say that? Does he know how I feel? Does he feel the same way? That's all you could think for the next hour, you pretended to be asleep as Sam woke you up. You were looking around and realized you were on a cliff and Sam had already set up blankets and pillows near the edge. It was still a pretty dark and cold out so Sam kept you wrapped up in his jacket and brought you over to the little pad of blankets he made. You sat down as he went behind you and made you both some hot chocolate. He sat down with you and wrapped you both up in the big blankets sipping your hot cocoa. " why did you bring me all the way out here?" You had asked him even though it was barely audible he instantly responded with " you'll see in a few minutes" he smiled with an adorable grin on his face. You always wondered how he did that. How was he always so handsome even when he's covered with vamp guts. Sam nudged your arm and you snapped your head up at him he nodded his head forward and when you looked you saw the glimmer of the sun shine just over the mountains. It was one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen, you know other than the two brothers you're so madly in love with. " It's gorgeous" You whispered out cuddling up to him. " There is nothing as gorgeous as you" you barely heard Sam say it but it seemed like he didn't really want you to register it, so you didn't but all you could do was blush.
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You and Sam walked into the room as quietly as you could but, once you two walked in you saw Dean and Cas sitting at the table like moms, angry at you for sneaking out. That look quickly went away when they pulled out the huge chocolate pie for you and started singing happy birthday to you. You started thinking ' was the date just a distraction? But he wouldn't have said that to you in the mirror, right?' Dean stood up and hugged you.. tightly but , it was nice, he was being nice about hugging me but still showing me how much he cared. It's one of your favorite things about him, you felt so warm anytime he even grazed one of your limbs. " Happy Birthday Y/N!!" Cas had exclaimed, he sounded so human, given he's known your two idiots for longer than you have it's obvious for him to be more human now. You all sat down at the table the boys scooted up next to you in the corner and Cas sitting right across from you. " Happy Birthday y/n" The way Sam whispered that in your ear lingered with you for a bit but not too long, probably because Dean started telling Cas about all your 'hilarious' tumbles when you were out on a case.
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A couple hours later everyone had migrated to the beds except Cas, since he doesn't sleep. Sam and Dean were leaning back on the pillows on Deans bed watching old ninja movies while you were writing in your journal. Nobody knew about this journal except Castiel. Cas knows all about your feelings for the boys, it was amazing how Sam and Dean didn't know all you did around them was blush.
JOURNAL ENTRY
*your pov*
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" Dammit y/n, I can't believe I'm like this, I love with two brothers they are all I've been writing about for years. I love them, I know but it still hurts. I'm 100% sure they'll never feel the same way how can I let myself do this. By the way Cas thank you for not telling them. What if they look through this? Laughing at me, thinking I'm a pathetic piece of human garbage? I hate the fact that this is the only way I can really express myself.
See ya, y/n
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A/N: hey I'm sorry if it's too long!
But I really hope that anyone that reads this likes it!❤️ see you next chapter
