drew barrymore. | a short story

0.6 | 3:06 PM

solana:

i walked out of the double doors to the courtyard to see jacques waiting for me. he was talking to ishmael. i knew i was about to get chewed out by jacques because i was 5 minutes late, and his last period got cancelled, so apparently he had been waiting in the courtyard since 2:30.

"hey, ishmael." i said.

"wassup, solana," he said, giving me a side hug.

"hey, jacques," i said, hugging him.

"don't hug me, i've been out here waiting for you since 2:30," he said, playfully trying to push me off of him.

"yeah, uh huh, whatever," i said, clutching him.

jacques dapped ishmael up, telling him that he'd see him later. we walked back to the double doors so we could get to the main exit. "i gotta stop at my locker real fast while we walking through the building." he said.

"you've been standing out here since 2:30 and didn't think to stop at your locker in the-" i paused to check the time. "-thirty six minutes you spent waiting for me?"

"nope," he said.

"i'll never understand you," i said, following him to the stairs.

we went all the way up to the third floor so he could grab his weed out of his locker. i'm not sure how he got away with having that in his locker all day, but he did. "now i see why you waited." i said.

"why i wait then," he asked, hanging his jacket up in his locker.

"staff is gone. you forgetting isaiah..." i lowered my voice to a whisper. "...smuggled some weed in here last year and had to wait until the middle of winter break to get it. had the whole hallway smelling,"

foolishly, isaiah had smuggled weed into the school and put it in his locker the day before winter break last school year, and teachers were in the school until the week after break started for professional development. apparently they had been investigating the weed smell the entire week because they couldn't tell where the smell was coming from. isaiah, megan and isaiah's other friend, rakim (also jacques's friend) had to sneak into the school from the back door and run all the way up to the fifth floor without catching the attention of the custodians.

"hmm... you right," he said.

we headed down the stairs and out of the building. "so what was that whole hallway deal after my science class about?" i asked.

"well, i um," he cleared his throat.

"do you not want to tell me?" i said.

"nah, nah it's not that, it's..." he said.

i waited for him to speak again.

"well, you remember when you walked into the lunch room today and that whole table was staring you down?" he said.

"you saw that?" i said.

"who didn't? bashar was the first one to point it out and rakim wouldn't shut the fuck up about it after i walked back into the cafeteria." jacques said. i snorted.

"so you know what it was about?" i said, raising a brow.

"of course i do. watch out for them. one of them came up to me earlier about you." he said.

"maybe it's because of your habits, young man," i said, as we turned a corner.

"my habits?" he said, giving me a look of confusion.

"yes, your habits. the talking to multiple people thing. of course they're going to attack me. i'm saying this in the most non-cocky way, but... they want my spot. they think they have access to it. why? you allow them to think that." i was getting worked up again.

i was met with silence. jacques looked up at the sky. "did i say something?" i asked.

"nah, no, you didn't. i get it." he said. i knew i had said something he didn't want to hear.

"you sure?" i asked.

"yeah, just... why didn't you tell me that you ain't like that? i would've understood." he said.

"i..." i stopped and thought about what megan had told me in the bathroom. "i don't know," i said.

"i'm sorry, solana," my own name in his voice hit me like a pile of bricks. solana. not the usual sunny. solana. he hadn't called me my real name in so long that i stopped in my tracks, trying to register.

he stopped and looked back at me. "you aight?" he asked.

"no," i said inaudibly.

"what's wrong?" he said.

"it's you, you're the problem," i said.

"what i do?" he asked, taking a few steps towards me.

"it's not what you did, it's just..." i took a deep breath, knowing i was about to word vomit (and maybe actually vomit) and would have absolutely no control over what was about to come out of my mouth. "...i cannot stand seeing you talk to other people jacques. and i know that's my fault because i was the one that ended things between us. but it's been bothering me, and irritating me, and... ivy, she's bothering me. she hasn't done anything. but she's being herself, and that shouldn't bother me, but you've talked to her in the past, and it's magnifying my insecurities because i always feel like you'll just up and leave me out of the blue, and you told me to tell you when something was bothering me," i was still rambling as jacques took a few more steps towards me and wrapped his arms around me.

"...and you're hugging me and i'm letting you do it even though you're catching heat for your actions, but you're only catching heat because i can't control my own feelings..." i was only silenced by jacques's quiet 'shhh's' and 'sunny's.'

"just tell me what you tryna say," he said. i rambled quite a lot when i was frustrated, so i usually said 100 words that i could reduce to 5.

"i just... i want things to go back to the way they was before but... i don't- i don't think that's what you want," i said.

"why not?" he asked.

"i thought you liked having your little cheer squad," i said.

"compared to just you? no. and why would you ever think i'd replace you with ivy? i've known you since seventh grade. ivy, i met her sophomore year in chem class. i don't know her like i know you."

i smiled at him slightly. "you know i love you, sunny," he said.

"yeah. yeah, i know," i said.

he stared at me. "what?" i said.

"you must want me to go home," he said.

"i'm lost," i said.

"nigga say you love me back," he said.

i shook my head as we started walking again. "i love you too, jacques."