drew barrymore. | a short story

0.9 | 8 months prior

STRONG NSFW/SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING!

school was starting in two weeks. by now, me and jacques had been messing around for nearly the entire summer.

what was i doing right now? well to be completely transparent...

i was getting my back blown out. bent over jacques's kitchen counter. jacques's palm was in the curve of my lower back and his other hand was on my shoulder. i put my head down, grasping the edge of the counter, trying to catch my breath.

nothing else was heard besides skin contact, jacques's quiet humming and my habitual broken moans. well, that is until jacques seemed to hit a spot. i nearly cried. "can't take it?" jacques asked.

i was too preoccupied to form words so my response was a mix of me humming, moaning and trying form words. jacques chuckled and sped up, and my grip on the counter tightened like a vise. i was starting to feel pins and needles in my fingers from how tightly i was gripping the marble.

"you tapping out yet?" he asked, caressing my back. i breathlessly hummed a no.

"you like a challenge, i see," he said. he wrapped a hand around my throat, pulling me into an upward position. the next i knew, he was hitting that spot over and over.

i had to tap out.

normally i'd debate with myself, but i felt my release coming and it was coming fast.

"jacques, i'm-" i was too winded to finish my sentence.

"tapping out finally?" he asked, caressing my back again.

i hummed a response that he couldn't really understand.

"all you gotta do is say the words," he said, softly.

i could barely get my sentence out before my climax hit me like a bus. jacques let go of my neck and i put my head back down. jacques slowed down until he stopped as he usually did and i tried to catch my breath, still bent over the counter.

"you took a while to tap out, breaking records and shit," jacques said, walking out of the kitchen.

"i was... dedicated," i said, following him back into the room.

"usually takes you a few seconds, a few minutes on a good day," he said, searching in the closet for a towel. i waved off his exaggeration.

"shhh, we don't talk about that. i accomplished something today," i said, catching the towel he tossed at me.

"fair," he said, as i walked into the bathroom, closing the door.

the thought came back into my mind again as i stood under the water. school was starting in two weeks. i thought about where me and jacques were currently. i needed to focus on getting to graduation in one piece. but i didn't want to just break things off with jacques. i'd unintentionally attached myself to him throughout the summer and now i was torn. of course, i've dated during the school year before, but when i did, i got distracted.

i had to break things off. i needed not to be distracted this year.

i washed up, turned the water off, washed my face and got dressed. when i opened the door i saw jacques sitting on the bed and i froze in my tracks. not because he was doing anything, but because the realization that i was about to cut things off with him hit me like a pile of bricks. he looked up to see me standing in the doorway.

"you okay?" he asked.

"i..." i started, my words caught in my throat.

he stood up. "yeah, i'm fine. i'm done," i said, stepping out of the way of the door way.

he looked at me as though he knew otherwise (he probably did) and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. i sat on his bed, pondering how i'd bring this up to him. i was thinking so hard that jacques's thirty minute shower seemed to slip by in 5. he opened the door after he had finished getting dressed. my heart nearly dropped into my ass. how was i supposed to do this now?

"sunny, you sure you good? you look upset." he said, throwing his towel into the hamper. he sat on the bed, looking at me.

i couldn't form words. my mind went blank. i didn't want to go through with this anymore. i was starting to regret it without doing anything at all. i opened my mouth hoping that something would come out, but instead i just sat there gaping. i closed my mouth, taking a deep breath.

"you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said.

i found my voice. "i do," my voice sounded shaken up. "i just..."

he looked at me, waiting for a response. "i don't..." i couldn't spit it out. jacques reached up to wipe tears i didn't even know were falling.

"ight, how about this. you don't have to tell me now. i'll keep you distracted until you're ready to tell me." he said. i sniffled.

"okay," i said, nodding my head.

"now stop crying, you big baby," he said, throwing me on the bed behind him.

+

me and jacques were laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. in the last three hours, we had napped, eaten, play fought for the 30th time that day (ending in a bruise on jacques's shoulder), i went back to sleep and jacques watched some sci-fi show on hulu, and now we were laying on his bed, in the dark, staring at the ceiling. "jacques, i think i'm ready," i blurted. the words had come out before i even knew they had.

he sat up to look at me. i'd just blurt it out. no stalling. it would work.

that was a fucking lie.

i sat up too, crossing my legs. i twiddled my thumbs, staring down at them. "we..." all i had to do was get the rest out.

"we...?" jacques said. he used a finger to lift my chin up. i felt like crying again.

i closed my eyes again, inhaled deeply, and did the thing i did best: i rambled.

"i have to cut you loose, we have to cut this short. i can't have sex with you anymore. it's nothing bad, it's just that school is about to start and i need to focus, but i didn't want to tell you because i know it was going to hurt and i didn't want to hurt you and i don't want to hurt you and i've been holding off from telling you this because i didn't know how you'd take it," my voice began to crack as i spat out whatever thoughts came to my head. "i didn't wanna do this, i promise, i'd never purposely hurt you, i just need this for myself and..." jacques was hugging me, as he usually did when i lost control of my words.

i was still rambling as i started sobbing into his shirt. "i'm sorry," i cried, clutching his shirt. i felt his chest rise and fall in a way that told me more than i'd wanted to know. i sobbed harder. he was hurt. and i knew it.

"shhh... sunny, calm down," he said, rubbing my back, trying to console me. i nearly suffocated trying to catch my breath.

"sunny, breathe." he said, looking at me.

after he'd spent several minutes trying to calm me down, and i was finally calm, jacques inhaled and exhaled slowly. "it's okay sunny. i'm fine. and if i'm lying, i will be fine eventually. you need this for yourself. and i understand," he refused to admit he was hurt. i hated how closed off he was with his emotions.

i chose to just let it go. pressuring him about it would just make him shut me out even more. i could see millions of emotions in his face. i couldn't just make out one.

"one last time," i said, quietly.

"hm?" he said.

"i wanna do this one last time before i go," i said.

"ight," he said, laying down and pulling me on top of him.