My Darkest Rose

Chapter 23

No Remedy for Memory

Despite the false conclusions Detective Hernandez had made about Jack, he knew him well. He knew Jack wouldn't speak to him until his lawyer arrived from Chicago. He also knew Jack liked to draw, so made sure his cell had paper and pencils in hopes that he could study them and maybe learn something new about the murders.

But Jack didn't take the bait. Instead, he used the time to think through what had happened just before he was caught.

Rose had wanted him to go into the water with him. She'd wanted him to die.

And wasn't it what he deserved? He thought that maybe it was even why he'd come to Moonwood, to end it. For the creature to end his life. Despite his fears, there was a sense of rightness to it, a sense that there was only one way out of Moonwood for Jack, and that was the lake, the one place he'd feared most since he was a small boy.

Perhaps his fear was some sort of premonition. That what he feared most was not monsters, but his own death.

Yet he didn't regret not going with Rose into the lake. He still had Fauna and Mandy. Even Andrea, who he hadn't spoken to in days and was likely still mad at him about the painting, deserved more from him.

And there were his fans. Jackies had amassed in Tacoma to protest his arrest, some were even camped outside the jail.

He loved Rose. He craved her. There was no remedy for memory, nor release from his sadness. But he'd learned to live with both, and he wanted to live.

The next day, while Jack waited for his attorney to arrive, he was surprised to see Robbie Bernardi walk into the room instead.

They sat at a round table in a room full of vending machines. There were other inmates there as well with their guests, and two guards by the doors, one leading into a lobby, the other back into the jail.

Robbie looked like he'd gotten as little sleep as Jack. His eyes were bloodshot, and when he sat down, he bobbed his leg nervously under the table.

Jack wished for a cigarette. How long had it been? A week? When was the last time he'd gone this long without one?

"How's Mandy?" Jack asked when Robbie seemed reluctant to speak.

"Her nose is broken," Robbie said. "Her right thumb too."

Jack had been checked over and found to have bruised ribs from the seatbelt and a sprained ankle. His cuts were all superficial.

"Not that you give a shit," Robbie said.

"I do care about Mandy," Jack argued.

"Not enough to stay with her when she was hurt. Not as much as saving your own ass."

So they thought he'd run to avoid the police. There wasn't much he could say otherwise, but he tried. "I saw someone run into the woods. I followed."

"A shadow creature?" Robbie said, his tone mocking.

"No. Not a shadow."

Robbie stared at him and Jack wondered what the guard would do if Robbie attacked him. Probably not a lot, might even let him get a few punches in before they intervened.

"My mother's going to testify against you," Robbie said.

"What?" Rose and Robbie's mother, as far as Jack could remember, was an alcoholic who spent most of her time at their condo in Florida. Jack had never even met her.