We grow up.
We grow up hearing how much adulting sucks.
Then, we live it. We experience it.
And indeed, it does. It sucks.
BIG TIME.
But no one talks about adult heartbreak.
Is this what it will be like from now on?
You like a guy, you get close to him, you catch feelings, you feel comfortable enough to be your real self with him, you feel strong, you feel empowered, you feel liked.
You date him seriously for barely two months.
Then,
it's over.
And so are you.
No energy to keep going.
You don't feel like getting out of bed, but you don't want to give him that satisfaction. You're not even hungry anymore, but at the same time, all you do is eat your favorite comfort food. You feel like it wasn't meant to be from the beginning, but at the same time, you keep wondering about the amazing relationship you were building and what you could've had. You hate him but at the same time, you love him. You can't blame him.
You can't blame yourself either. You were YOU. And there is nothing wrong with you. But he didn't like you for you.
Does that even make sense?
Do my thoughts make sense?
I know the hurt won't last long. I know my energy will come back. It was only for two months.
But I don't want to feel this pain each time I date a guy.
When you're young and naive, you like a guy. Maybe, you are like me and you fall in love with him for two years. You think you love them. And maybe, you do. And sometimes you think the feeling is mutual. That he likes you too. And maybe, he does.
But when it's over, you're sad. Maybe sometimes you even cry. But you're sad for a while and that's it. You can't even remember that feeling right now.
Adult heartbreak?
It's worse than that ten times worse.
Worse than when you hear your own heart fall and break into a hundred, thousands millions of pieces. Shattered. And scared.
Scared to ever love again.
Because loving again, means a lot of work mending those broken pieces. Do you know how hard it is to find the strength to glue back, one by one, all those little tiny pieces? You don't even know where to start. And all that exhausting work, just so someone can take your scarred heart and break it again.
