COMPLETE ✓| Charlotte Hastings found herself between a rock and a hard place when she aged out of the foster system. With only a car to her name, she set out on the open road, hoping to find long lost relatives. Winter hits her hard. When she meets...
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CHAPTER TWENTY | WHERE TO GO FROM HERE
Charlotte Hastings
My mind was racing a million miles a minute, but I just sat there, still. Frozen. Even though this was the decision I'd made, I wasn't sure it was the right one. I kept hearing Eli's voice in my head, trying to guide me in the right direction, but I shook it away. He was out of my life now and the thought made my body physically ache. Tears pooled in my eyes as I placed my hand on my chest. Small breaths filled my lungs as I tapped against my chest, counting my heart beats. I had to find a way to move forward.
This was my last chance at happiness. Less than fifty feet to the right. Only minutes away. It would have been an understatement to say that I was scared. Terrified, really. How was I supposed to do this? Meeting my family was everything I dreamed of, but was it worth the risk of putting myself out there again? There it was, Eli's voice was back. Of course, it's worth it, he'd say.
"Damn you," I muttered and wrapped my hands around the steering wheel so tight it made my knuckles turn a pale white. Moving on felt like it was impossible. In such a short amount of time I made a life, but it was what I did best. I was trained to leave my life behind and start over. I'd done it time and time again. Nothing was different now. I had to just keep telling myself that this was my way forward, everything else was in the past now.
Maybe it would all be okay. I'd get what I'd always wanted. It was out of character for me to be this hopeful, I never considered myself to be an optimist. I prided myself in seeing things from a glass half empty. Preparing myself for the worst, but I couldn't do that here.
If I left empty-handed, I went back to living in my car. No job, no place to live. No Eli. I couldn't walk away empty-handed this time, because it was all or nothing.
"You can do this," I muttered under my breath, over and over, but it didn't change how I felt. Completely, utterly, paralyzed. Still, I picked myself up and got out of my car. The cold air hit me like a slap to the face. Maybe I should have taken it as a sign and retreated right then, but I didn't. I looked left and right before jogging across the street, my hands stuffed in my warm pockets. "You can do this."
It was a house of dreams. The kind with a white picket fence that wrapped around the front lawn. Bright yellow gables sat against the white siding. I felt weird peering in the window as I walked past, but I couldn't help myself. The TV played in the living room, even though there was no one watching it. Everything looked so inviting. The Christmas tree that was decorated elegantly, the family pictures that sat on the mantle.
I gulped, realizing my mother had more children after having me. It was silly to think that because she gave me away she didn't want children. I didn't know why she decided to give me up for adoption. It was part of the reason why I was here. I wanted to know my family, my siblings. My hand trembled as I lifted it to the door. This was my last chance to turn back and forget about this whole silly notion. For some reason, I still couldn't find it within me to walk away.
