For you and a thousand times over.

4:00 am

"My dearest moon,

It's four am you're either asleep right now or finishing a painting. I don't even know how many times do I have to remind you that life doesn't finish today, let tomorrow carry all of those alright? I can't sleep, so I'm writing you this. my little hands are meaningless, my heart is a little heavy. I hope you know that you are more than important to me. I want to love you. I will love you within these empty phrases. empty promises. empty poems. doesn't matter if I ran out of words, because there is always you. I want to dream a lifetime with you. I want you. I want to die loving you. how can you make me feel this way? everything is blurry when you're around. why do you feel like a fever dream? your smell, how you scrunch your nose, your laugh. I love those, I really do. those insignificant things that make you. I want to feel these butterflies for the next years, Niko. I want to see all of my favorite things in you. until that time comes. I will be right here. you know that I'm yours, and maybe tomorrow you can be mine. but fate says otherwise. don't ask me how many lives do I have, because I still want you tomorrow. I will run to you as if we are strangers. I will go to you and offer a walk. I will come back to you and promise to bring the sun for you. please wait for me. please forgive me for all the things I did not become, a thousand lives I did not become. goodnight my love, my only thought. ill see you tomorrow.

your sun, sol

December 23, 1898