Strawberry Lemonade| Roceit

Chapter Three| Together

TRIGGER WARNING; homophobia
National suicide prevention hotline; 800-273-8255



Drowning.

That's what this feels like.

You hold your breath until the point where you can't possibly bear, 'til your lungs feel as though they might explode within your chest. Then you give in and everything is gone in an instant.

Roman held it in for 16 years. Then came the pain. 

' When are you going to get a girlfriend?'

' Why don't you occupy yourself with girls instead of volleyball?'

Then he gave in. That was a mistake.

It's been four months. Every day was another few hits. Every wrong sentence was another bruise. The mere mention of another boy would get Roman a slap across the face from his father. It was often Roman wished he lived with his twin and his mother. 

Roman's breathing continued in quick, short, shallow breaths as he covered the worst bruises with concealer and foundation. He could blame the other bruises on practicing volleyball. He winced when his hand brushed against some cuts on his left arm.

His dad had thrown a glass cup at him, it missed but, it hit the wall and shattered. Roman had gotten cut from the flying shards. He sighed and began to place bandaids over the cuts after removing small pieces of glass.

Once he finished cleaning up, Roman pulled on his shirt and grabbed his backpack before leaving the bathroom. He walked down the hall as quietly as possible. He left the house with a sigh of relief, he dug in his bag before pulling out his wallet. 

The spiker may or may not have taken a bit of money($30) from his dad late at night. He made his way to the nearest corner store for breakfast. He spent around $5 and put the rest back in his bag. 

He camped out at the school gates, waiting for it to be 7:30 am. He sighed heavily, rubbing his arm gently. He began to get lost in thought. He smiled when Dee crossed his mind, leaning back against the cool brick hedge. Roman liked the shorter male and he couldn't wait to see how good he was at volleyball but first, he needed an exercise binder.  As if right on cue, said shorty walked over to Roman, shyly sitting beside him.

"  Morning, Roman " He mumbled tiredly, looking away from the spiker with a quiet yawn. Roman smiled widely.

" Morning Dee " The 2nd year grinned to which Janus merely nodded " I have a question, " This made Janus freeze up for a moment, he didn't have a rational reason to be anxious... he just was. 

" Yeah..?" Janus asked nervously, messing with his sleeves. He gently tugged at the edge of his shirt to which Roman noticed.

" Well, I was just wondering if you're transgender? I thought I saw a chest binder yesterday, " Roman explained, looking at him. Janus bit his lip nervously and hesitantly glanced at the upperclassman. He could feel his hands and leg begin to tremble as his anxiety grew like a weed.

" Y-Yes I a-am " The 1st year whispered anxiously. Roman gently smiled at him.

" Don't worry, I'm not transphobic and neither is anyone on the team. " The demiboy assured Janus, who nodded lightly. He smiled at Janus again. Now he knew for sure.

Janus sighed as he walked to the gym. He only changed in the bathroom stalls, not wanting his new teammates to see his binder... or his wider hips... He stretched before pushing open the gym doors. He paused, seeing the rest of the team talking lowly in a circle.

Then there was a gentle cough from behind Janus and the circle pulled apart quickly. Janus turned and gave Remus a small wave before joining everyone on the court. 

" Alright, so to see how you play, we're gonna have a three on three, m'kay babes?" Remy looked at the team then at Janus, seeming satisfied when they all nodded. He glanced at them, "Hmm, "  he hummed, in thought.

" Roman, Virgil, and Janus on one team, Patton, Logan, and Emile on the other, " Remy said. " We can have the match today or in two days if you'd like to practice a bit, He watched as the team shook their head

" Alright, get ready. Emile, give me a hand," Remy motioned towards the container of volleyballs. Emile nodded with a sweet smile and walked over.

Janus crouched down and began to tie his shoes tighter to prevent himself from tripping. As he started putting his knee pads on he noticed Roman, Remus, Patton, Logan, and Virgil talking in a circle again. He sighed, standing up, " Are you guys ready?" He called over at them, causing the majority of the small group to flinch. They all spread out with murmurs of agreement.

Janus didn't like this. Had they been talking about him?

They got into position, Janus had to serve to start the game. He was never the best at serving normally but he'd say he was rather good at the float serve. He took a deep breath before the ball went flying into the air. He walked forward then jumped up, his arm extending, pulling back before it slammed forward, smacking the ball. 

They all watched as the ball flew over the net and towards Emile, who was prepared to receive it, " Out!" Called Patton which made Emile move to the side slightly. Janus watched the ball hit the ground and bounce towards the wall before he groaned and covered his face with his hands.

" Sorry!" His face burned with embarrassment. Janus slowly uncovered his face with a sigh.

" Shake it off!" Roman said with a charming smile. He motioned to the other side of the court as the whistle blew. After a few moments, the ball was soaring straight towards Janus. This is his chance to redeem himself. 

As the ball slapped against his wrists, he pushed it forwards, watching as it fell onto Virgil's hand for a split second. Then before Janus knew it, Roman was in the air and the ball was on the floor on the other side of the court, " Woah"

Janus's team ended up losing 20 - 25 but now he actually felt like he was a part of the Volleyball team.. or he would if the other players would stop whispering in a circle.

" I'm sure he's a medium " Remus answered quietly,

" Alright, I can have about 28 dollars by Thursday," Roman grinned and gasped lightly as Patton handed him $25. He nodded in understanding.

" Okay, I'll buy the binder Thursday and we can give it to him together."

Word count: 1141