The Dark Knight Returns

Chapter 5

     Orange was never his colour. He hated it. Yet it was the color of choice when you're a prisoner of the state. They are fully aware of how much people hate that colour as it was another addition to your punishment, to be a fashion faux pas for the rest of your life. The Joker was aware of how ugly it was but refused to let his captors know how much it angered him and instead celebrated the colour as if it were the best of all time. He would refer to himself as something that looked good in orange, like a pumpkin or an orange. He knew his comparisons to all things orange upset the guards but they were too good at their job to reveal how they felt to their one and only prisoner.

     Life in his custom made cell was the same as it always was everyday in Arkham but there was something different in the air that day. The guards surrounding his cell knew it as well. The cell that housed the Joker was in the middle of what used to be the gymnasium of Arkham Asylum. In the middle of this large room was now a glass cell, a perfect circle of glass that was fifteen feet in diameter. Inside that cylinder of glass was a small bed, a sink and toilet and even a small desk for him to sit at and do work should he be in the mood to read or study something. Surrounding that cylinder was another glass cylinder, that one was twenty feet in diameter. Both of them had glass that was a foot think and capable of taking a rocket propelled grenade and barely show a scratch. Between the two cells was a sliding mechanism which the guards used to deliver food, mail and anything else the joker would ask for. Whenever it was time to slide something through, the Joker was asked to sit as his desk and not move until the item was securely on the other side. The precautions the guards took were obscene, not even camp X-ray had this much paranoia. The Joker understood why they went to such measures. He was the most dangerous criminal they had ever encountered and they didn't want him to ever get out and see the light of day again.

     He was still able to speak to a lawyer, one of the few civil rights he was allowed to have while the rest of his rights were tossed away after being declared an enemy combatant. He was even allowed to paint in his cell as long as the items he asked for wouldn't be used to create any means of escape. The Joker instead used the paints to torment his guards by painting some gruesome art that only other madmen would be proud of. Due to federal murderbelia laws, the Joker wasn't allowed to put his work up for sale on ebay, so the remaining space of the gymnasium was filled with dozens of paintings that he had created when in his lonely cell for the past several years.

     One of the guards tapped on the otter glass. "You have a visitor. Stay at your desk while we slide through your lunch."

    The Joker didn't like having visitors anymore. Without his makeup and combined with his hideous orange jumpsuit, he wasn't exactly looking his best to receive guests. Moments later there was the slamming sound of his lunch being pushed through the sliding door from one cylinder to another. Once the outer cylinder was secure, the guard called out, letting him know it was all right to get up from his desk and fetch what was in the tray. When the Joker walked up to the sliding tray, he looked in and was pleasantly surprised. It was a slab from a local pizzeria, topped with anchovies, red peppers and feta cheese. He looked at the box and back at the guards surrounding the cell. "Dominos? Seriously? Couldn't spring for Pappa John's?"

     "They're not exactly PC these days." Jim Gordon said as he strolled out.

    "I wouldn't know, Comm-mmissioner." The Joker hissed back at Gordon. "I don't exactly get to watch much television down here."

     "I made sure you got some television while you're here." Jim said as he pointed to the small TV which was seated just outside the glass cylinder.

     "It only has one channel." The Joker snapped back. "Vision Television, and let me tell you that is what I call cruel and unusual punishment. I guess my rights go straight out the window every time the 700 Club comes on."

    "The President was re-elected." Jim informed his prisoner with a smile. "So any chance of getting your status being repealed is dead in the water for at least the next four years."

     The Joker opened the pizza box and took a big whiff. "I see you found my bomb."

     "Yes." Gordon confirmed. "In a highschool that when full has over two thousand students!"

     The Joker let out a soft chuckle. "Don't worry, Comm-mmissioner. It was set to go off at 8pm on Sunday night. I may be a madman but I'm all about chaos, not murder."

     "What kind of chaos would blowing up an empty school create?" a voice growled from behind.

     The Joker turned around and grinned from ear to ear with delight. The Batman had arrived to visit him. "Just imagine two thousand displaced students with no where to go and nothing to do. Even just a little chaos is better than none."

     "Your lawyer has been arrested." Gordon said as he circled the cell. "We'll make sure you don't get anymore messages out to your helpers."

     "Well that won't make a lick of difference." The Joker said as he watched the Batman as closely as he could through the two panes of glass. "I thought so."

    "What is it?" Batman asked, trying to figure out what might be going through that insanely methodical mind of his.

      "It's not him." The Joker said as he let out a soft giggle. "You're a newbie."

     "You asked for the Batman, and you've got him." Gordon called out, unsure of how the Joker managed to put it all together.

    "Don't worry Comm-mmissioner." The Joker called back as he started to pace around the cylinder like a caged animal that badly wanted to spring out and attack. "I wanted to see for myself if this Dark Knight was the real deal and not some phony imposter. Turns out the new edition seems legit but is missing that little something his predecessor had. Maybe it's for the best, boy wonder. I wouldn't really like it if my protégé managed to do what I couldn't and defeat the real Batman."

     "Your protégé?" Batman said as he walked closer to the glass. "I'm guessing that's who put the bomb in that school? You have someone outside getting ready to create new chaos for Gotham?"

     "Oh yes." The Joker growled as he casually slid back into the chair that was seated beside his desk. "This protégé has been studying up and working to be the best Joker possible for close to four years now. I'm not sure how long you've been training sport but I doubt you've shown close to the same dedication she has shown to my cause?"

     "She?" Gordon called back.

    "Yes, my protégé is a she." The Joker confirmed. "Unlike you people, I at least practice a little equal opportunity in my outfit."

     "We'll cut off all communication you have with her." Batman said. Finding out how the Joker was getting word out to her would be hard, but he was confident he and Jim could figure it out together.

    "Too late, sport." The Joker said as he let out another playful giggle. "She's already been given her marching orders. That bomb in the school was just the beginning. By the time she's finished with you, Gotham will be ripe for the picking. Only then while I return to finish what I started. Nothing will stop her."

     "I will." Batman said, trying to air as much confidence as possible.

     "I'd like to see you try, noob." Joker said as he grabbed a slice of his pizza and began to relish the taste of minimal success. "If she has half the potential I think she has, you're in for another wild ride."

      "We'll see about that." Gordon called out.

     "Oh you'll see." The Joker said as he began to laugh uncontrollably. "Her name is Harley Quinn! Do remember that when chaos rains down on Gotham once again! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"