A Bear's Love

Chapter 9 Magnus

A million questions run through my head but I cant find a voice to ask them yet. So, I stare at the food in front of me like it knows the answers. Jing doesn't continue, he just leans back, watching my internal conflict, that unreadable neutral expression on his face.

I start eating just for something to do while I organize my thoughts and Jing does't seem to mind. Maybe its because he is do good at his job that he knows when not to push.

Finally, some questions push their way to the front of my mind.

"Does this mean you've already Bonded and Marked someone? A chosen Mate? Are you straight?"

Might as well get the really important questions out of the way. 

"No." He takes a deep breath, as if he is preparing to give a very long, complex answer. "First, I would define myself as Bi-sexual leaning towards men but my sexuality would not have made a difference to my family, I would have been forced to do my duty no matter what. For my kind offspring were becoming rare, so at 18 we enter into a sort of arranged Mating. The only ones who don't are those who have met their destined Mate, if the circumstances are right."

He muttered the last part but I catch it, does he mean they don't honor same-sex Matings?

I must have looked furious because he reached over and grabbed my hand, running his thumb against my palm soothingly.

"We never Mark each other, in-case we do meet our Mates. Its a business arrangement most of the time, a way to increase economic and genetic standing, few actually love or even like their partner."

He looked wistful, as if remembering, a sad smile on his normally stoic face.

"I was lucky, Adrianna and I were friends from childhood, she knew how much I hated what our culture was turning into, heartless and cold. Emotions and attachments don't matter, only progress. We were paired together on my 18th birthday, her's wasn't for months but that didn't matter. I think my father was afraid I'd try and escape my duty to the family."

"You love her." I state the obvious, his expression said it all, that wistful smile.

"In a way. As my dear friend yes, as my lover and life partner no. Plus, she loved someone far more than she could ever love me. After two years we conceived a child. The day she found out, she put me on a plane."

"Why? Why would she send you away and raise your child alone?"

"Because she wasn't alone. She had been with her Mate Zoe for a year by then." He chuckled, "I've never met a more understanding woman than Zoe. We all lived together and once a month, when the timing was optimal Adrianna and I would do what was required of us. When she practically threw me onto a plane she said I had given her happiness, it was time to find my own." 

A tear slides down his perfectly sculpted cheek and before I can even think, I'm pulling him out of the booth. There is no way this calm stoic man would be ok showing this side of himself in public. Throwing enough cash on the table to cover the bill and I pull him from the bar.

The night air is cool and refreshing. I didn't realize how suffocating the pub had been. Jing took a deep breath but it didn't seem to calm him. We walked to my truck and climbed in silently.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"No, He runs his fingers though his hair again, a definite nervous habit, "We need to finish this Magnus, just somewhere more private."

I drive to the lake just outside of town. I grab a blanket from my backseat and lay it out in the bed of the truck. Sitting there, surrounded by the night sky and wild beauty of the mountains seemed more fitting.

"Adrianna and Zoe sound like wonderful people." I muse, what little he has said has been enough to understand why he felt ok leaving his child with them, why he loves them.

"Yes. They were."

Were.

Not are.

"They're gone?" I whisper and he nods as if he lost the strength to say it out loud.

"My father called me today. Car Accident. They are sending my son over in 3 days."

No wonder he ran from me when we met. That would be overwhelming for anyone.

I lean back against the side of the truck and pull him in-between my legs, his back against my chest. Wrapping my arms around him, I feel him lay his head back on my shoulder, his gaze towards the sky.

"When Adrianna met Zoe, it was like she was a flower blooming for the first time. I hate that I had to sully their first year together because of duty. We knew what had happened to same sex Matings in our culture. Most are disowned, cast aside because they cannot conceive a natural child. Others do what we did. Adrianna wanted to take over her family's company, it was what she had planned for, she had been groomed her entire life to be a CEO. So, we made a deal with her parents. She would get her position if I gave them a child, an heir. Zoe agreed, happy to take on a stay at home parent role. It gave her time for all her projects. I am sure the only reason he is coming to me instead of staying with Adrianna's parents to be groomed like his mother is because Adrianna and Zoe insisted that I be on the birth certificate. They must have named me as his guardian in their will."

He seemed lost in thought, the entire weight of the situation etched on his face.

"Zhen has had the love and attention of a full-time mother and now he has to come to me. A man who has never spent time with children. I hope I don't ruin him."

"You wont ruin him Jing. You will have the support of so many. I know the wolf pack will be a huge extended family for him like they were for me." I take in a calming breath of his scent, "Not to mention you have a Mate with a large family who have been badgering him about settling down and getting them more grandchildren. He has plenty of experience from his nieces and nephews."

"Well then, I might have to keep him around for a while."

A smile curves over his lips and I'm struck by how beautiful he is. Before I can even think through the pros and cons, I press my lips to his. He freezes for a moment before melting into the kiss.

Reluctantly I pull back from the kiss and rest my forehead against his. I don't want to move to fast with him. I want to prove to him that hes not another one-night stand to me. He and his son are going to be my family, my everything. Now I just have to prove it.