Unseen

Chapter 11

"Isn't that what we're doing right now? Or was that whole conversation a by-product of the leftover morphine in my system? Am I hallucinating?" I widen my eyes for effect and he rolls his as he chuckles quietly, finally scooting back so he's sitting properly in his chair.

"There's the D I remember... fucking smartass." My lips quirk in a small smile before I return my gaze to my drink, watching the green straw as I spin it around in the chocolatey liquid absently. "Dalton?" I return my focus to him and frown when I notice his brown eyes look a little glassy. "I'm sorry. I know that isn't enough, it'll never be enough, and I know you probably don't believe me, but... I truly am."

"Why?" His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his lips turning down in a frown.

"Why am I apologizing?" I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"No, you're apologizing because you're a dick. But why are you a dick?" His gaze drops to his lap as he runs a hand through his messy brown hair, then he leans forward with his elbows on his knees and hides his face in his hands.

"Because I was scared," he whispers, quiet voice muffled further by his hands.

"Scared of what? My attraction to you? Flynn, you were my best friend. If you didn't feel the same way, you could've just told me instead of flipping out. We could've brushed it off like nothing happened and went back to playing video games, but instead..." I trail off with a heavy sigh as I lean back against the stack of pillows behind me and close my eyes.

"It wasn't just... that... it was because... because it made me..." He huffs and I look over to see him tugging at his hair, his whole body trembling lightly. "You were my best friend, best buds for life, and that's all I'd ever seen you as. But then... I started noticing how you acted when I mentioned girls, almost like you were jealous, and it gave me a weird feeling. Not a bad feeling, just... weird, you know?

"Then when you kissed me that day, I realized that weird feeling was... that I may have possibly developed feelings, and it scared the shit out me and I lost it. I was straight, so why did my male best friend kissing me send my heart into overdrive? I panicked and got out of there as quickly as possible. I told myself that from that moment on, I had to distance myself from you so that it wouldn't go further, so I did the only thing I could think of... make you hate me." The whispered last sentence is delivered with a voice crack and he quickly clears his throat and wipes at his cheek, his skin glistening with leftover moisture. "I know admitting this will probably just make the entire situation worse, but... I think part of me only went out with Maddie because it was as close to you as I could get. I'm so fucked up," he chokes out with a self-deprecating laugh as he shakes his head.

"You're right, that is pretty fucked up," I whisper and a small whimper escapes his pretty lips as he covers his face again. "But I get it, in a twisted way. You never should've used my sister, and you'll need to apologize to her because that's... wrong, man. So wrong. But I understand the fear, and how fear makes you do some fucked up things. Doesn't make it right, but... well, it kinda makes you human."

"Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?" he whispers, and he sounds so broken that it makes my chest ache.

"Are you going to continue treating me like shit? Writing on my locker, spreading rumours, dumping food on me, beating me up, calling –"

"Okay! Okay. I get it, I'm a piece of shit, no need to keep listing all my wrong doings," he grumbles and I can't help but laugh. I really shouldn't laugh because all of it was true, and all of it hurt like a bitch, but I almost feel... lighter.

"So are you?"

"A piece of shit? Yes, we've established that. Can we please move on?" I roll my eyes and sigh, shaking my head. I had stereotyping, but all that keeps running through my mind is stupid jock.