𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕖𝕔𝕥 ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟~ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖 𝔾𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕖~

ℍ𝕖𝕣 𝕃𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤

When I got home from set that day Charlie and Emmie were gone, and there was a note on the table saying that Owen and Olivia went back home to Oklahoma. I haven't been able to sleep since Charlie left. I felt so alone and my thoughts were getting to me, 'kill yourself' 'they'd be better off without you' 'they all hate you' 'they're only friends with you because your dad is Jensen Ackles'. 

I started to get inspiration for a song so I quickly grabbed my songbook and my guitar. 
*The song that I am using is my original piece. Please don't steal it and if you use it in a book of your own please give credit I worked really hard on it but it's not finished.*

"I just need you to know you were the one who broke me,

The one I loved, the one I trusted, finally cracked the code.

Now I don't know where to go, you left me broken and hurt

With my own thoughts leaving me to want to crawl up in a

ball and die. my heart has been broken before but not like this,

This was different my heart was shattered, the pieces on the floor,

Being ignored and stepped all over. I don't know why you left

You made me feel so safe and loved now you're making me feel

Worthless and shitty, need people to stop telling me to get up,

And try because I just want to take that whole pill bottle and die.

These meds aren't working and i've found comfort in the stinging, again

 and whenever I see you posting pictures with the perfect new it

girl you've moved on with, I find comfort in the stinging, In the shower

 leaving me feeling numb and empty, was 'i love you' the Only lies you ever

 told or were there others. I knew there were skeletons in Your
 
closet but i'd hoped you had trusted me the way 

I trusted you, but I guess you didn't and I had to figure it out on my own." 

When I finished singing I felt the tears running down my face. I missed all my friends. I thought about calling them but then I didn't because I let my thoughts get to my head. I then thought about all the hate I had been getting. I didn't tell anyone about the hate and I deleted it off my page but I took screenshots so I could go back and look at it. 

I opened my photos and went to the screenshots of the hate and started to read it.
"she's such an ugly fucking whore."
"slut" "hoe" "bitch" "that slut is going to fuck charlie get pregnant and he's gonna leave her"
"how does jensen, jared, misha, cole, or dylan put up with her like damn she sleeps with anyone she sees."
"I love how the rumors is that her ex's cheated when she was the one who cheated"
"Didn't she sleep with one of Jensen's costars?"
"She fucked, Owen, Charlie who's next? Shawn mendes?"
"How the fuck does Billie eilish want to make a song with her?"

The next thing I knew I was in my bathroom grabbing the strongest pills I had in my medicine cabinet. I had 72 pills in my hand. I took 10 at a time. I took ten pills seven times then I took the other two. Then, I found myself in the liquor cabinet. I opened the vanilla vodka and the chocolate vodka, I mixed them with tequila... I don't remember what happened next but I heard sirens and familiar voices and crying. 

When I woke up I saw my favorite rappers of all time standing in my room.

"Juice Wrld? XXXtentacion? How are you here? I thought you guys died?" I said questioning.

"We did die and you're going to die if you don't fight the thoughts in your head. Let me just tell you this one thing Brynn. If you listen to the bad voices in your head you're never going to be able to make it out there in the world, even if your dad is famous." Juice said.

"We know you are definitely strong, you just need to see it. You need to fight to stay alive for Cole, Dylan, Jensen, Jared, Charlie, Owen, Olivia, Madison, Savannah, Jadah, Jeremy, Carolynn, and if you don't care if they mourn you then you need to fight for Emmie. She is going to need her mom, Charlie won't be able to fill in that spot in her heart where you were." X said.

"None of them care about me, it's all fake they're just using me and the fans don't really care about me either they just want me to notice them so that they can get the 'clout'."  I said.

"Brynn if you really think that then this is going to be a lot harder than I thought." They both said.

Then suddenly xxxtentacion and Juice wrld faded away to nothing. 

I suddenly went into a dark room where I heard my friends voices. One by one starting off with Charlie.

As Charlie was speaking I saw his body appear in front of me in the dark room. 

"C'mon Bree pull through Emmie, Madi, Jadah every teen girl, guy, man and woman, need you and I need you. I'm trying really hard to stay strong but I'm starting to lose it" Charlie said.

I started to run over to Charlie in the dark room. When I got to him I was able to run right through him and all I wanted to do was hug him. I started crying and then I heard Madison's voice.

"Please pull through Brynn we need you. We all do."

I then heard Olivia's voice. She was crying loud and hard. I thought she was going to have to be on an oxygen machine because she was hyperventilating.

"Brynn why, why did you try to kill yourself, you didn't even write letters that we would be able to find. Did you stop taking your anti-depressants? I need to know why Bree why? Bree please wake up I need you. I need you to be alive and talking to me. There is so much life you still need to live. You need to be there for Emmie to see her milestones in life. You've been her mother for a month, Charlie wouldn't even know where to begin with being a full on parent without you. Hell you've been in a coma for almost two weeks and we've been trying to talk to you hoping you'll wake up because the doctor said the more we talk to you the more you have a chance of waking up. We've all been trying to help Charlie be a parent but without you here to calm Emmie down it has been chaotic and a mess. Emmie wants you and when Charlie brings her to the hospital to see you she tries to get to you. It's so sad that Charlie can't hand you to Emmie, she misses you so much. We all miss you so much. It was so fucking selfish of you to try and kill yourself." 

"Okay Olivia I think it's time you've calmed down and stayed out of the room for a little bit." 

"Omg I am so sorry Mr. Ackles I'm just so upset that she tried to kill herself and that I may have to live the rest of my life without my best friend."

"Olivia you know you can call me Jensen and I know that you're upset but I think you're just hurting yourself being in here so much seeing her lifeless." 

The sound of my dad and Olivia's voice faded and all I saw a bright light and I wanted to walk towards it so bad but in every movie where someone walks towards the light they die and I am not about to die and not say goodbye to Charlie, Olivia, Madison, Jadah, Savannah, Owen, Jeremy, Sacha, Emmie, Carolynn, Tori, Kenny, and everyone else. I walked the other way walking further and further away from the light when I suddenly...