Nang Ika'y Umasa

For Italya

Entry #161 - August 15, 2021
Dear Diary,
Ilang taon na noong muli akong sumulat sa'yo. Ilang taon na 'din noong huli kong makita si Italya. Hanggang ngayon nagsisisi pa din ako kung bakit ako nagsinungaling sa kanya. Ang tanga lang! Dala ng katorpehan gumawa ako ng kasinungalingan.

College na ako ngayon. 1st year Civil Engineering Student. Dami namang magagandang babae sa school. Pero hinahanap pa din ng mata ko 'yong ganda ni Italya.

Psst. Psst. Psst... baka naman tadhana pwede kaming magkita muli ni Italya? Baka naman pwede mo akong bigyan ng tsansang itama pagkakamali ko?

Entry #162 - August 16, 2021
Dear Diary,
Ang boring ng araw na 'to. Introduction lang ng karamihang klase. Kasama na diyan distribution of syllabus, rules and regulations etc etc etc.

Well... not until I saw someone familiar. Aligaga akong nagpunta sa may tuktok ng burol sa may Botanical Garden. To my disappointment, it was not her. It was someone I don't even know.

Psst. Psst. Psst... baka naman kahit isang masid pwede ko siyang makita?

I miss her.... :<

Entry #163 - November 27, 2021
Dear Diary,
May galit ata nga sa akin ang tadhana. Ilang buwan na akong umaasa. Wala pa rin.

Naalala ko pa. Kaya ko gustong mag-aral dito kahit 2 oras ang layo nito sa bahay ay dahil ito yung nabanggit niya sa aking dream school niya.

Pero naalala ko, ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas. Baka nagbago na rin isip niya.

Entry #164 - November 31, 2021
Dear Diary,
Psst. Psst. Psst. December 1 na bukas. Baka naman....

Entry #165 - December 26, 2021
Dear Diary,
Shet. I think I saw her. It's one-day late for Christmas but fuck I'm sure it's her... Her strawberry-honey perfume that I gave her. Shet. Gamit niya yung pabango. And gawd! Bakla mang pakinggan, nanlalambot ako nung tumingin siya sa gawi ko.

Entry #166 - December 31, 2021
Dear Diary,
I am temporarily writing this entry here in my phone as I am distance away from their chair. Forgive me Lord! I know nasa simbahan po kami ngayon para sa simbang gabi but the girl I've been adoring for years is just meters away from me.

Can I ask her as my late Christmas gift?

Entry #167 - January 4, 2022
Deary Diary,
Anong nagawa ko? Halos di siya makatingin sa akin. I just said hi tho.

Entry #168 - January 15, 2022
Dear Diary,
Again... hindi siya makatingin sa akin. Para siyang lumalayo sa akin? Did I wronged her?

Entry #169 - February 12, 2022
Dear Diary,
Maybe it's me and my stupid brain. Or maybe because I feel responsible and I feel like I am already a man. Sumagi na lang sa utak ko na magtapat ng pag-ibig ko sa kanya.

Wait.. Pag-ibig? Shet. Am I in love?

Entry #170 - February 13, 2022
Dear Diary,
Isang oras na lang para maging ganap na Araw ng mga Puso, pero ito ako nilalamon ng insekuridad. Bumabalik na naman sa akin ang nangyari ilang taon na ang lumipas.

Will she accept my feelings this time? Will I be rejected again? What should I do for a second rejection?

Entry #171 - February 14, 2022
Dear Diary,
I was so ready to confess and correct my mistakes. But again, maybe it's not meant to be. I saw her crying. Her dad passed away. I don't have the heart to confess.