She~

*4*

!! Warning: Descriptions of anxious thoughts and an anxiety attack !! 

Realizations

It's been about 2 weeks since I became the manager of Karasuno's volleyball team and I've been having so much fun. We went to Tokyo for a practice game and even though we didn't win anything it was fun. I've learned a lot about volleyball, and the players on our team. Though I'm still confused about Kiyoko. She's super nice to me and is super pretty and whenever I talk to her or even see her my stomach does backflips. But why? I wonder silently. I decide that I'm going to talk to Hinata about it when we hang out tomorrow...

*Time Skip to Next Morning*

"Hinata!" 

"Yachi!"

Hinata and I had planned to meet each other at the park to hang out and talk around 10 this morning, I thought I'd finally be there before Hinata, but I guess I was wrong. We do this every Saturday, gossiping about the week's drama and just having fun. 

"Okay, okay so I get to go first this week," Hinata said excitedly, "I have a crush on Kageyama!"

"What?" I say, completely dumbfounded. You can do that? No, you have to like the opposite gender, everyone else does. But Hinata does... No. It's not okay because mom would get mad at me. Dad would be disappointed. I begin to shake heavily, my breathing becoming ragged and rough. I feel the world slip further and further away from me, my vision becoming blurred with tears. It feels like forever before I can make out Hinata's voice. I see a hand reaching out to me and curl even further in on myself. I can't let them touch me... no, no, no. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay Yachi. I'm here," I look up and see Hinata there, not too close, but enough to be comforting, and he continues speaking softly, "Okay, breathe slowly, in for 5 seconds, hold for 7, and out for 6." I do as he says.

 "Good. Are you okay now?" 

I take a final deep breath in before speaking, "Yeah, I think so. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I'm glad you're alright, anxiety attacks can be really scary sometimes." He says, relieved. 

The two of us get resituated before Hinata asks me a question that I knew was coming. 

"So..." he starts, "Are you homophobic or something?" 

"N-no?" I reply unsurely. "I've never really known that could exist and the thought of my mother finding out that I was I didn't wanna be a disappointment or anything and-"

"It's okay, Yachi." 

*Time Skip to 12:30 PM*

"So, it's okay that I think I might like Kiyoko?" I ask for what could've been the hundredth time. 

"Yup!" 

The two of us sat there in silence, but not an awkward one. It was more satisfied, light, happy. I was happy that I knew what I was feeling. I was happy that I liked girls. I was happy I liked Kiyoko. I was happy Hinata helped me. I was just happy and unapologetic about it. 

Hinata and I went our separate ways around 1 and I headed home for the time being. When I got home I saw mom's car and got excited. Maybe we could watch something for a little bit! 

"Mom, I'm home!" I shout into the house, quickly slipping off my shoes

"Hey sweety, I was wondering, since I'm off today, do you wanna watch a TV show?" 

"Yes!" I say happily, hopping onto the couch like a little kid. I grabbed the TV remote, opening Netflix, and beginning to look for a show to watch with my mom. Eventually, she joined me and we decided on watching this show called "Haikyuu". I figured since I was the manager of a volleyball team it would be cool and maybe show my mom a little bit of what I do. 

My mom and I managed to get 16 episodes in before she got a call from work saying they needed her, and by that time, I was satisfied and ready to get some dinner then head in for the night.  

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I know this chapter is like wayyyy shorter than normal but I felt bad for not putting out a chapter for a long time and I don't have anything better at the moment ;-; I love yall and shall link a really good song in apology