SAVAGE

07.

The Staves ~ Make it Holy

Savage.

I often wonder what I did to deserve you, I am a man with many flaws, a beast in the night, and a savage with cruelty like no other, should you not fear me then, why do you draw closer when I try so hard to keep you at arms length, my thoughts are claimed by you, my body is yours to command and my soul is ever loyal to you, how is it that I cannot find myself without you, why is it a life without you makes me a bitter man, somehow it's in the way you move, the way you talk, and the way your body and soul respond to me.

I do not want these thoughts yet I cannot find myself without them, I've tried to hide and run away but it seems the pain I inflict on myself, may very well be yours, I do not know what to do with myself, should I love you and damn the consequences or should I let you go, for a better man to claim you, why is it the mere thought alone makes me want to tear out the throat of any man who would get close to you, I need you, yet I fear my need for you, I love you yet that love could be the end of us, I want you and yet that want could destroy us.

Do you want me the same as I do you, or is it that I'm the one who has devoted myself unto you and my beast into your thrall, must I muster up the courage to tell you that I love you or should I be the coward who only hides in the shadows and kills any potential suitor because I want you to myself.  Thoughts confuse me, one conundrum I cannot seem to fix, I could make you love me, need me and in turn, I would offer myself and worship you, would you accept me or would you reject my love because it's wrapped in the black sheets of immorality, the word itself leaves a bitter taste, I see no immorality, only you.

Your gentle caress, your soothing voice, your warm lavender skin that I wish to mark on every possible part, I see only you, how do I tell you that without crumbling, how do I tell you that no other man can ever stand before you and claim you because I would've torn his heart out, I could make you want me I know, but would you want me in return, would you hoard my love and keep it safe, would you accept my body, mind, and soul, would you ever accept me truly, I know your words are true, you would never leave me, but I'm still a wolf, and I'm still a man, doubt plagues my mind when it comes to my love for you, I fear unrequited desire, and I would never want to lose you if my love is not enough for you, what can I do, I'm a lost wolf.

I was wide awake in the middle of the night, Matty was by my side, his head lay on my chest, he looked as angelic and peaceful as ever, I will always want to keep that peace on his face, always see him glow with kindness, always see his clumsiness and how for the life of him cannot stop making shapes with the bread when he's packing it for me, I will always want him to be happy, I know things have changed between us, I'd hoped he wouldn't notice but I could tell with his body language, he had noticed it.

He yawned nuzzling into my neck, any slight movement could easily wake him but him feeling my warmth would also cause more sleep to wash over him, I liked that I had that sort of influence on him, it's always been an excuse to have him in my arms whenever we slept, and now it seems he wouldn't be leaving my side for a while, with a kiss to his curly hair I held him closer and tightly, he was mine in that moment and I would've given anything to keep it that way forever.

~~~

It was morning when I slightly jolted awake, Matty was still snuggled with me, half his body was on top of mine, more rather three quarters of his body was on top of mine, he shifted awake as I tried not to startle him with my loud mouth yawns. "Morning.' It was barely above a whisper but I heard him, he had only said it lowly because he was still half asleep. "Morning baby." I replied rubbing his back, if my beautiful angel could purr he would've but he sure tried as I rubbed his back.

"How was your sleep?" He inquired making himself even more comfortable on my body, I spoiled him too much. "It was okay, you seem more refreshed, and here I thought sleeping with me was a bad thing." I teased and his cheeks burned with embarrassment, it was worse since I was only in boxers and he was in a too large shirt and boxers meaning a lot of skin contact. "It's not bad, I have been sleeping with you your years." He retorted proudly making me chuckle, of course he would reply even when his pretty little face was burning with embarrassment.

"Should it be described to other patients?" I questioned whilst tossing the bait, his eyes narrowed, there was the jealousy I was looking for. "I don't share remedies to good sleep, plus the alpha is mine." He exclaimed proudly whilst his arms tried to tighten around me. "So you're claiming the alpha all to yourself now, is that it?" I questioned with a tease and that made him giggle yet snuggle even further. "I suppose so, the alpha is mine, and I'm the only one who gets to do this with him." He replied with a small grin on his lips.

"You're a cheeky little thing this morning aren't you." I exclaimed tickling him and he burst out into a fit of giggles, we rolled on the bed as he tried to tickle me but only succeeded in having me between his legs, the laughter stopped as I hovered above him, his warm palm caressed my cheek, he could see me vulnerable, I didn't care, he was all that I wanted, we were stuck in that moment, my eyes darted to his lips then his eyes, it was as if there was a pull and an invisible tug to just lean down and kiss him, consequences be damned.

So as my lips lowered to his I damned it all in that moment, his breath was warm, I'm sure his breathing hitched as more of my weight came on top of him, I really wanted to ravish him but this was a moment I knew I had to go about gently, my wolf was on the edge yet also wanting to dominate the body beneath us, and in that moment, our lips met, at first he didn't respond but slowly he tugged on my hair as my lips moved on his, it was slow, agonizingly sweet, we were in perfect sync, I had always wanted this, and in that moment I had finally gotten what I wanted.

Our kiss got heated, needy as lust and years of love poured into it, this kiss wasn't just for me, it felt like it was for him too, I wanted to go on but we still needed to breathe. "Savage." He whispered once we parted, I looked into his eyes, they were unfocused and his lips were swollen, my handiwork, I was proud of it. "We just—." He was about to speak but was cut off. "Savey, Theo!" The twins were here, oh boy. "We will talk about this later." I growled pinning him onto the bed and stealing another kiss, he giggled as I moved away and came back for another one when I thought I was good.

I finally wore my sweatpants just in time because the twins walked in right then, both six foot five of pure muscle, and they looked even more handsome if that were possible. "There you are!" Both Matty and I were tackled onto the bed, I had missed our siblings. "We missed you." Oh, the speaking simultaneously thing, wasn't looking perfectly identical enough.

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(Sips tea)

LMJ