Way of the Wolf: Equilibrium

Chapter 19 ~ Distractions

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates!

Chapter 19: Distractions
~

Arm twisted behind my back, a foot kicked the back of my knee, bringing me to the ground. Orin used his weight to push down on the joint, making sure I was very careful not to move. A dislocated shoulder was the last thing I needed. Fenna was cringing, Aljana was smirking, and Signy just watched with one eyebrow raised.

"Too slow," Orin grunted by my ear before releasing me. "You're not learning."

I huffed and flopped forward, squeezing my eyes shut as the sudden loss of pressure on my arm had blood rushing back at an uncomfortable pace.

My head wasn't in the game today.

Orin straightened and folded his arms. "Fenna learnt quickly how to fight as both skin and fur no matter what form she was in."

My teeth ground together. That's all I'd been hearing lately. Fenna picked up living in the wild as if she was born in it. Fenna got control over both forms in a matter of weeks. Fenna learnt how to release her wolf while remaining in skin easily. I was struggling. Warring with both parts of myself as I tried to find this middle ground they spoke of.

I shoved myself back up, once more retying my hair to keep it out of my face. Strands still clung to my damp forehead and arms, my lungs were burning, my legs wobbled beneath me, but still they kept pushing me. And I was happy to keep going, to prove, if anything, I had the will.

"I don't have Wanderers blood in me," I snapped for the hundredth time. It was the only excuse I could come up with.

"That's not what the problem is, Raeghan. Surely you know that. You're Wulver, and you have Alpha blood running through your veins. That's enough. Your problem is control."

I opened my mouth to protest but Fenna stepped forward and shook her head, holding a hand up to stop Orin from further berating me. "He doesn't mean that you have a lack of control, but you lack the ability to let it go. Instincts will guide you in a fight, Raerae, it's okay to let the wolf out."

If only she knew.

Looking away, I folded my arms, keeping my reasoning to myself. Even in fur, I kept my instincts reigned in. Because if I didn't, I'd go for throats. Maybe that was my fault. Years of suppression often came out in bouts of rage that then got me into trouble anyway. Signy herself had seen that after one fight with me.

"There are other ways to wake the wolf," Signy mused, studying me.

"I am awake. Fully awake," I muttered, brushing a dead leaf from my arm. Frustration was making me irritable and I was beginning to lose all hope of ever proving myself here.

The power of an Alpha in the air drew my attention to the trees. Jakkon was making his way over, greeting his mate with a nip to her jaw. I straightened my shoulders as blue eyes flicked to me, then to Orin.

"Are you going too easy on her, my male?"

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. Orin chuckled and shook his head, nudging my shoulder. "No. She's just stubborn and won't let go."

Alpha Jakkon hummed and took slow, measured steps to where I stood. I could feel the presence of my wolf, instincts telling me to bare my teeth and posture but I was still sore over how he'd put me thoroughly in my place.

He hadn't said a word about my fight with Rune either, barely acknowledging that I was little up in his Pack's hierarchy.

"It's a common occurrence among wolves now, those that spend time in the human world so have to tamp down on the feral side of us. You've forgotten how to rely on the wolf. On what makes you not human." He smirked, as I bristled. "I'll take you on the hunt with us, away from any luxury where you'll spend more time in fur. That should do you some good."